Why are we so close lipped about the stuff that REALLY happens when you have a baby? You can take all the classes and read all the books and yet there’s STILL stuff that seems to be left out! Well, I’m sharing it all with you today ladies, so its up to you whether you want to continue reading or not 😉 Here’s all the shit they DON’T tell you about having a baby!
Photo credit: Alicia Ann Photographers
The shakes. I remember being in labor with my first and SHAKING uncontrollably. I had no idea that was a normal thing! So when you start shaking like crazy, just know it’s okay!
You may poop during labor. Surprise! Didn’t know that? Yep, it’s true! In fact, most women do! Because if you ain’t poopin’, you ain’t pushin. But don’t worry, you probably won’t even realize and then nurses are SUPER discreet about it! So you’ll never even know.
Tearing. It’s very possible you might tear during labor. There are a variety of degrees of tearing, some worse than others. But honestly, its super normal and actually PREFERABLE to an episiotomy. I feel like episiotomies are a thing of the past because it’s been found that the body actually heals better when it tears on its own. I tore with Landon and Noelle and required just a few stitches, but surprisingly didn’t tear with Austin! Again, normal.
It burns to pee. If you tore, it will most likely burn like HELL when you pee for the week after delivery! Use that peri-bottle they give you (that shit is your BFF) and squirt warm water down “there” while simultaneously peeing…it helps SO MUCH!
Delivering the placenta. I’m not sure why this is NEVER discussed, but after you push out that baby you have to then deliver the placenta too. This has never really been a big deal for me. It didn’t hurt, it kind of just slid right out. But it’s weird if you didn’t already know about it, so let this prepare you for what’s to come!
Bleeding. Again, something that’s never talked about. You WILL bleed for 6 and even 8 weeks post delivery REGARDLESS of whether you had a vaginal or cesarean birth! Stock up on super maxi pads and Depends because you’ll need them no matter what! You’re bleeding will start off bright red and slowly and gradually darken and then turn to white. This is called “lochia,” and it’s a normal part of childbirth eeeeeerybody goes through.
Nursing contractions. Holy balls, these are the actual WORST. And news flash, they get worse with each baby! Not even kidding, they were toe-curling painful and almost worse than labor this third time. Basically these happen because your uterus contracts back down with the release of oxytocin while nursing, and expect a gush of blood as a result too! The good part is these only last a few days, THANKFULLY. But MAN do they SUCK while you’re going through them, and basically plan on loading up on the Ibuprofen.
Fundal massage. There’s this lovely thing the nurses will do EVERY SHIFT while you’re in the hospital called a fundal massage. They’re basically making sure your uterus is contracting back down and that it doesn’t feel “boggy” (a sign of possible hemorrhage). So while it’s necessary, it’s annoying AF and causes more blood to gush, so just a heads up!
Hemorrhoids. These F-ers are a bitch. And guess what? You might get them BEFORE delivery, too! They’re super common from pushing, and basically Tucks pads will be your BFF. Unfortunately they don’t always go away (although they did for me, so there’s hope!). Think of them as a reminder of your labor experience 😉
The first poop post-delivery. Let me start by saying ALWAYS TAKE THE STOOL SOFTENER. Always. Do not skip it. PROMISE ME you will not skip it. Because if you do, you are IN. FOR. IT. You’re gonna feel like you’re basically dying and just plan to be on the toilet for a good 45 minutes. You’re gonna have to give yourself a pep talk before it begins, like “Yesss, I can do this. I think I can, I think I can. You’re a badass mama who just birthed a baby, you CAN handle this poop too.” When it happens, there might be some sweating and even a little crying, but once it’s done you’ll feel like a bathroom warrior. And then it’s easier with every subsequent poop! 😉
Breastfeeding is really f-ing hard. It’s HARD! I don’t understand why everyone is always “breastfeeding is easy and shouldn’t hurt!” Well no, it SHOULDN’T hurt, but guess what? IT DOES. It hurts a lot. Babies are all shapes and sizes, and so are nipples. It’s rare to NOT have soreness at first. And holy sh*t, the soreness! Not mention possible cracked nipples, thrush, and all the other ailments the might go with it. It takes time for baby to learn to latch and for you to learn how to hold the baby to do so. It’s all a big learning process and surely doesn’t happen overnight. I could go on and on for hours about this, but just know it’s not something that comes easy and ALWAYS ask for help from a lactation consultant (even if you don’t want to!).
Leaking. Just do yourself a favor and pick yourself up some of these! You will leak overtime you have a let down if you’re breastfeeding, and if you’re not prepared you’ll be left with a lovely wet spot on your shirt. This goes for overnight, too! Can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up soaked from milk! Breast pads are your friend! 😉
Night sweats. I hate this sh*t so much. No one tells you that your hormones shifting will cause these awful night sweats where you LITERALLY sweat the bed. I’m talking full out changing clothes and sheets kind of sweating. And then you wake up freezing and it’s this vicious cycle all over again. This only lasts for a few weeks, but it’s brutal because you don’t see it coming. I can go to bed fully naked and STILL break a sweat during this time. None of the books I read as a first time mom warned me of this!
The STANK. We’re just a whole lot smellier postpartum! I need to shower twice a day as a result because I can’t stand the smell. Probably because of the literal blood and sweat, but man those showers are necessary. I will wake up significantly earlier than the rest of my house to fit a shower in!
Being constantly hungry. If you’re breastfeeding, you’re burning calories without even moving! This means there’s CONSTANT hunger happening. I can out eat my husband at this point, and still be hungry! In fact, I keep snacks on my bedside table for middle of the night feedings. Mamas gotta get her snack on, too!
Hair loss. Oh, that postpartum hair loss. Causing moms around the world everywhere to look like they’re balding 😉 Kidding, it’s not THAT bad, but it’s bad. The hair loss starts around month 3 and can literally fall out for 6 months. I lost so much hair with my first that my husband thought I was sick! And then that awful hair regrowth is a real fun time.
“Other” effects. Stretch marks, a weak pelvic floor, peeing when you sneeze, bladder prolapse…there are a variety of things that can happen as a result of childbirth. Men don’t know how easy they have it 😉
How jacked up your vag looks after a vaginal birth. K, can we be honest? How many of you took a mirror down there to see just what it looked like? Yeah, it’s not pretty! Things never look the same post birth, apologies to your significant others in advance!
The emotions. Oh the emotions. Ladies, this is normal but sometimes it’s not normal. Never hesitate to speak to your doctor if you’re feeling really down, or anxious, or angry. There’s a difference between baby blues and postpartum depression, so if you’re feeling anything at all then speak up! So many moms go through this, and while it’s not something that happens to everyone, it’s very common. Our hormones are fluctuating, we’re sleep deprived, juggling a new routine, having good and bad days…it’s not surprising for depression or anxiety to rear it’s ugly head. Know you are NOT alone, and please speak up and get help!
Photo credit: Victoria Gloria
How quickly we forget about alllllll of this and want to do it all again because of the AMAZING gift it brings. Ladies, we are rockstars. Pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period are not easy by any means. It’s a blessing to be able to experience it because not everyone gets this opportunity. The female body is incredible, and when I look down at my kiddos I’m reminded of just that. They are worth every frustration, every pain, and every stretch mark because we brought life into the world! And THAT is an amazing thing!
Did I miss anything?? Leave a comment below! 😉 Also, if you’re a cesarean mama please leave a comment with what you think others should know, too!
Yes to all of this! For some reason I didn’t expect (and no one mentioned) the waddle I would have after my vaginal delivery and how careful I should be sitting down for a few days after! I sat down a little too hard the day after my delivery and almost cried. 😩
That most women don’t have their water break at the start of labor – and that it might need to be broken for you. This was the worst part of the entire experience for me. I should have gotten the epidural before I let this happen! The damn contraption looks like a coat hanger :X
omggggggg yes it does! Mine broke at home with my first, with the first push with my second, and then they broke it for me with the hanger with my third! Luckily i had that epidural (first time I had one, too!)
Mine broke at home with my first also. But second time, they had to break it.
I loved when they broke my water because my deliveries were very soon thereafter. With our fifth, though, my water had been leaking, and they let my water break on its own when I was in hard labor/transition. While its true that not every labor and delivery is the same, boy, I can sure attest to that, but I like the fact that I was finally confident in knowing how my body worked. They were so worth it!
I appreciate this & you more than you know! I gave birth 6 weeks ago to my 3rd baby & it’s been so refreshing to follow along on this journey together. We’ve got this!
Swelling! I was so swollen from being pregnant and then they push more fluid into you for the epidural. Because of this they had a heck of a time getting an IV in my hand and getting the catheter in. Um holy OUCH. I think those two things were worse than all the other pains.
Shaking. I shook uncontrollably the ENTIRE time. Apparently not uncommon.
BACK LABOR. Worst thing ever.
Yes!! The swelling with my second was alarming. I didn’t swell much with my first, but with the second I swelled so much I thought my legs would explode. The nurses said it was normal!
The first pee after giving birth was worse than the poop. It burned like hell!!!! I wasn’t expecting that at all!
Breast feeding omg!!!!! You are prepared for 9 months on giving birth and while that’s hard you aren’t prepped for breast feeding. To me breast feeding was worse than labor. I was in labor for 3 days, so it wasn’t a quick labor. Breast feeding takes weeks to get down with very little prep.
Love that post!
I like to add 2 things about after a C-Section: you have to fart 💨, and the nurses will ask you if you did, until then you don’t get any solid food, only broth, jello, more broth, more jello, and guess what, more broth…. it took me almost 2 days to freakn fart and I cried afterwards because I could finally eat some real food.
2nd, to pee… after they take the catheter out you have to pee within a certain time frame. And you have to pee in a measuring cup, because they want to know how much you peed. It was so ridiculously hard for me to pee for the first time. I remember my blather almost „exploded“, but I couldn’t manage to pee…. my husband had to give me moral support in the bathroom. Also tell the nurse to get out of he bathroom, I cannot pee in front of a stranger staring at me, not gonna work… I was more prepared the second time around, but would have wished I would have known all of that.
Yes! And heaven forbid the gas move in to your shoulder instead of coming out!! That happened with my second and I thought I was having a heart attach!
OMG same here for all 3 of my c-sections! The worst!!!
I had horrible shoulder pains with my first c section and was amazed that no one ever told me about this!
OMG 😱
Yes! I had such a hard time peeing this time around. I really don’t remember it being such a big deal for me the first two times, but just had my third and I just couldnt go and i was starting to panic about the time crunch.
And yes to the gas moving to your shoulders. Had at happen every time. So freaking painful!
OMG yes the forcing you to pee! or they would put it back in!
Oh goodness, I forgot about NEEDING to pee after the catheter and not being able to. It was awful. I wasn’t peeing enough, so they almost kept me in the hospital another day. …and then that stupid catheter caused a UTI.
This is amazing! Is there any way you can explain why some of these things happen? Like why does pooping actually hurt? Obviously I’m not a mom yet lol. Thanks!!
Pooping hurts if you have a vaginal birth because your vagina is ALLLLLL sorts of jacked up and you could possible have tears from delivery. Basically because of where it is 😉
And also (and what I didn’t realize) is that because if you have an epidural, the drugs slow your digestion and actually hardens your stool a bit so the first poop post-birth can be terrifying and painful because of that added pressure where you just pushed out a human and have stitches. My first time after was fine and I thought I was in the clear. I even remember thinking why does everyone say this is so bad? WELL, it wasn’t until week 3 that even with softeners I thought I tore my stitches, going hurt so bad. I had insane pain in my intestines every time. And the hemorrhoids! Ahhh again I thought I was in the clear until week 3. It’s brutal. I’m wondering if my digestion will ever be normal again!
It is truly brutal! I am laughing and cringing, reading this post… I have five children and knew after my first, to start drinking as much fluids as possible, stool softeners, Phillips Milk of Magnesia, guzzled like an alchoholic, right from the bottle…😳 And the hemmoroids? Crippling…
Pooping hurts after if you have a c-section too! At least my first poop. I felt like I deserved a trophy or an award after that!!
Prepare yourself for the fury that is the post c-section #2. You’ve just had your abdominal muscles sliced apart and then sewn back together so the actual straining and pushing can be very painful and difficult. Not to mention that your incision will feel like it’s being ripped open. My advice: grab your baby, a magazine or five, and some snacks. You’re going to be in there a good hour or more. And as weird as it sounds…bring a pillow with you to put on your lap and press into. I promise you it will be so much easier to do this with a pillow to lean over. Your incision will thank you! I have never felt more accomplished than I did after that hour in the bathroom.
Sometimes you throw up during labor. No one warned me about this! I threw up during contractions and during pushing. So that was gross!
Yes! I threw up during my contractions 3 times before they gave me an epidural. I have a very low pain tolerance and the pain was too much for my stomach to handle!
Yes! I threw up 4x before I started pushing!
Yep me too!!
Threw up during labor too! :/
YES! This happened to me with my first and I was so freaked out!
Yes! I was throwing up even with the epidural and during pushing.
Besides the first post partum BM, I dread peeing for the first 2 weeks after birth when we decided to try for baby #2. It was the worst – even with a “peri bottle”. Nothing like some acidic pee to cleanse the any tears.. ouch!
Ah the first poop!!! SO TRUE!!!! Lol. This was such a great read 🙌. My girl is two now and remember everything like it was yesterday. One thing with my epidural was I got the shakes. They don’t tell you this could happen (or if they did, I sure didn’t listen!!). I kept asking if something was wrong 🤣
The process after using the bathroom for the first few weeks. I was so not prepared for the spray bottle, the dermoplast, the witch hazel pads, etc! Like a typical first time mom I thought I would be able to wipe like normal. All my awesome Mom friends failed to mention that part of after birth hahaha! All these are so on point! Love you for always being willing to #sharetheshit
The shaking after you give birth. I got really freaked out that my legs wouldn’t stop shaking! (I still don’t know if all women do this?! Lol but I do)
Delivering the placenta is a great one. I had no idea after my first came out that I was going to now deliver the placenta. I answered the doc with “Huh?” When she said it was now time to do that
Unless it was just ME the lochia smells! No one told me it smelled, I thought something was wrong with me. LOL
YES, that’s part of the smell! I told my husband it smells like something died, hahahaha
Yes! They never tell you but it’s terrible:( I had my baby a day before you did and I am like give me all the showers- I hate this smell haha🚿🤣
For c section mamas- INSANE GAS. I mean INSANE.
More. Painful. Then. Labor. 😭😭😭😭😭 brought me to tears
Oh the gas is bad! The sweats. And the first poop. The pain of getting up and down? You feel like it will never end. But it does! And you have a beautiful baby….you may end up having another one. And a scheduled c section is even better than an emergency ☺️
So bad!
I second this!! Gas-X is your bff!!
Definitely painful, and the laughing and the coughing post c-section. So so painful.
And the swelling. I know someone mentioned it above but I was so swollen after both my csections ( and no diuretics because breastfeeding) it was actually pitting/pulling my skin. Soooo painful.
I was farting like nobody’s business. seriously before I was even out of recovery.
Such an accurate post!! I’m pregnant with my second now, and you really do forget some of these things!😭 But yes, so worth it still! And our bodies are amazing!!
you covered alllllll the bases with this post! A couple things that aren’t so bad postpartum… the ENDLESS HUNGER that accompanies breastfeeding. I’m more hungry now that I’m nursing than when I was pregnant. Oh, and phantom kicks! Am I the only one who gets these!? Fake tiny baby kicks that kindly remind me how much I miss the bump!
Yes to phantom kicks!!!!! I always have these!
I didn’t know those were a thing… I had them too!
I feel like I still have the phantom kicks and my little one is 10 months old! It’s funny because I never thought I would find anyone else experiencing this. ☺️
All of this…yes. If only someone had prepared me 😂 I had serious vag pain during pregnancy that got worse with each one (like actual knives were stabbing me in the vag with every move). It’s actually the main reason I stopped at 3 babies. I think it has to do with the ligaments or something.
Omg someone else had this?! I mentioned it to my nurse midwife and she acted like she had never heard of it before, which freaked me out!
Yes! I am pregnant with my first and I at times have to stop and stand still for a second because of the vagina pain 😂 My mom said it happened to her as well.
Yes!!! Especially the first poop my goodness I’m pregnant now and I think that is the one thing I’m most anxious about after labor! Thankfully it does get somewhat better.
The one thing I was most under prepared for was postpartum care. The lack of ability to to care for myself the hours after birth. I thought “oh the baby will come and I will go to the bathroom, be able to walk around and put on some clothes…” it took me almost a week before I could totally dress myself. I was not prepared for someone having to physically take care of lady land until I regained feeling in my legs…. sadly for me was 12 hours later. Talk about humbling. You’re right about one thing you “kind of” forget these and sign yourself up for it again. Haha!
My son is almost 9 months & I wish I saw this post before giving birth because YOU SHARED ALL THE REAL SHIT. I can’t tell you how much stuff I didn’t know was going to happen during labor which makes it more scary. I’m sure every mom who goes into labor kind of blind worries this “normal” isn’t actually happening to anyone else even though it’s all common. Soon to be moms really need to see this!
Diastasis recti on top of all of this.. but its not that common to singleton pregnancies though
My struggle from all of this was mostly bf..
Yesss I’m struggling with diastasis and i had a singleton! Just a big baby for my frame, and probably lack of prenatal core workouts.
Things I remember: Having a c-section and wanting to cry every time my (now ex) husband hit a bump on the way home from the hospital because it made things jiggle and was so painful, my boobs turning hard as a rock from being so engorged, water from the shower hitting my sore nipples and gritting my teeth through it, buying granny panties post partum because keeping that loose tummy all in one place felt like heaven after trying to wear my smaller underwear. I remember crying on my couch the day I came home from the hospital with my oldest because I just felt so different in my body. The post partum belly isn’t a cute baby bump, it jiggles, it feels weird, and I just had a mini freak out about it. I had to walk with a pillow pressed against my abdomen for a few days after my first csection because every step made it sore.
Another thing I didn’t know much about before my first was that when you have a csection (don’t know if this is different now or varies depending on the hospital) but they strap your arms down and you can’t hold your baby right away. They will let you see him or her… then after you get shut up, you go to recovery. My (now ex) husband was in a room with the baby while I was in a room recovering until I could wiggle my toes, after an hour or so (?) I was moved to my room and got to hold my son. Just be prepared for something like that should you have an emergency c section. It kinda sucked.
Oh yeah, when I was in labor with my first, I started panicking through my contractions. I was crawling up the bed because they were so intense and I was so unprepared for how quickly they came on once I hit a certain point. I had to pee at one point and I remember thinking there was no way I was going to be able to make it to the toilet. So I asked/begged my nurse if I could just pee where I was. Sweet angel woman put a pad thingy under me and I went. Yup. Grown ass woman asked to pee the bed 😂 And I’m not even ashamed. 😘
Yes!!!!! All the real life is right here!! 😂😂🙌🏼🙌🏼
One of the things that bothered me the most about having two c sections is not being able to hold my baby right away. Of course I would do whatever is necessary for a healthy baby, and in my case that was having a c section after three hours of pushing, but I still get teary eyed if I Watch a movie or TV where they hold the baby right away and think about how I did not get that with my two.
You are so right about the C-section info. I had an “kind of” emergency C-section and I was so freaking nervous and I thought the shakes were from that but now I know it was from the drugs they gave you. I was literally hovering above the operation table I was shaking so freaking bad. I HATED arms being strapped down and not being able to hold my baby — that made me cry and shake even more after. The gas and poop was THE. WORSE, EVER. I took everything known to man and it didn’t help. Then finally a Dr on-call told me about Citrate of Magnesia– THE ANGELS SANG FROM ABOVE!!! That’s the only thing that worked. Totally know about walking around with the pillow in front of you — and for my 1st (had to have another C-section for my 2nd) I didn’t heal for a long time. My friends that had a vaginal birth were up and about WAAAAAAY sooner.
However, would do it again to have my 2 girls (now 13 & 6) 🙂
You Nailed it!!! Also might want to Add that mommas that have to have a Csection it’s no walk in the park either and you will still experience all this hell plus the fact your recovering from your tummy being cut open. Those after birth contractions are the devil and the night sweats are the devils sister!!!! What woman go through!!!
You Nailed it!!! Also might want to Add that mommas that have to have a Csection it’s no walk in the park either and you will still experience all this hell plus the fact your recovering from your tummy being cut open. Those after birth contractions are the devil and the night sweats are the devils sister!!!! What woman go through!!!
Yessss. Breastfeeding!!! Why does no one WARN you that it’s hard? It doesn’t just “happen” magically like all the perfect pictures.
I wanted a natural labor and delivery but my water broke (and meconium) and I was not having contractions or dilated so I was induced. They administered cervadil overnight to try to help dilate me, then pitocin the next morning to bring on the contractions. Pitocin is NO joke! The doctors and nurses don’t fully prepare you for what’s to come once they start increasing the pitocin. Even if they tell you, I still don’t think you could be prepared for it. But I know after a few hours of laboring naturally (meaning no pain meds or epidural) while on pitocin, I couldn’t get an epidural fast enough. The pain was so intense that I was convulsing on the floor while vomiting. I waited way too long to get the epidural. Basically, if you’re on the fence about an epidural but you need pitocin, my advice is get the epidural as soon as they say you can have it!
Omg the pitocin contractions! My water broke at home and I had to be induced so as soon as I got my epidural I cried in my nurses arms 😂, those contractions were no joke. They also don’t tell you that your water keeps replenishing after it breaks (until the baby comes out). Even the hospital pads aren’t enough to keep you from feeling like you are peeing yourself.
I got a crazy rash in my toes that moved up my legs. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. The only thing that allowed me to sleep was putting bags of ice on my feet. They were like little blisters and they BURNED so bad. Just caused by hormones and they went away about a week after. But it was horrible. Thankfully I didn’t get it again with my second baby.
Oh, I had that! Mine actually covered my entires body – it was called PUPPS and the only “cure” for it is to deliver the baby. I barely slept that last week of my first pregnancy. Instead, I was every 2 hours sitting in an oatmeal bath to lessen the burning and itching. Luckily, it went away almost immediately after delivery.
Surprising fact #2, you can blow out your hoo-ha from pushing too hard and have to TAKE YOUR CATHETER HOME!!! Yes, I got to take my catheter home with me for a week with a pee bag attached to my leg because I was too swollen to pee on my own. And the best part? My husband had to help me remove it! Poor guy was traumatized. LOL
My fourth is almost 2.5, but I remember all these things like it was yesterday. #3 and #4 were c-sections and the shoulder pain from the air in the abdomen was the worst…probably even worse than the back labor with my first.
This past December I gave birth to my first baby. Labored for 10 hours before being taken in for an emergency c-section (so fun 🙄) BUT I was surprised when getting the epidural didn’t hurt as much as everyone had told me it would. I was mentally prepared for the worst. I was about 4-5 cm when I requested it be done & it was a breeze !
Only thing you forgot- sex after baby. Having sex the firs time HURT SO BADLY. it was like he was pushing everything back into place. It makes me cringe thinking about it!!!
Ahhh so true!
Oh 😮 this actually terrifies me more than birth itself! Will stuff return back to some form of normal??!
YESSSS!!! I felt like my husband was stabbing me with a knife in my lady parts =…(
So it might just be me but I ate a TON of ice chips and drank a TON of water during labor and also had an epidural. And post-delivery my epidural had yet to wear off completely so I had this incredible urge to pee but honestly could not go. It was surprisingly brutal and the nurse hands down did not believe that my bladder was full. I eventually politely and then not so politely asked for a catheter and INSTANT relief, oh my god. She was shocked. So, I guess what I’m saying is that a) this exact scenario could happen to you but b) demand they check when you’re saying something doesn’t feel right!
As an add on to the postpartum peeing – I didn’t know that you’re catheterized if you have an epidural. Apparently there is the potential to have complications after this, so the nurses will make you pee within a few hours of delivery to confirm everything is okay…hopefully I’m explaining that correctly.
I had a c-section and I can still relate to most of this! I had my baby 8 weeks ago and have loved following along your journey. It’s been so nice to hear someone else going through the same things!
A few things I’d add for anyone having a C-section:
-shaking on the table from the spinal. It’s alarming but normal and will probably last for hours. Luckily your Dr and nurses know how to handle it and you and baby will just fine.
-nausea during the delivery because of all the meds (they literally had to take my baby off my chest because I was so sick.)
-if your incision is glued you will have to scrub that off after a couple weeks and it’s weird AF.
-you will have gas and it WILL HURT. This too shall pass. 😉
-the pain medication will make you feel out of sorts. PLEASE ask for extra when you get home and do not skip your meds until you’re fully ready!
-you’re first poop still hurts even though you didn’t deliver vaginally. Take the stool softeners!!!
-Charity
Extra HELP when you get home. Not extra pain meds 😂
Yes to all this! I think the biggest shock to me was the first poop after. And I didn’t take any stool softener because I didn’t think I needed to. 😂😬😩
But you better believe with baby #2, I took all the stool softeners. Lol
So many good and hilarious points!!!!
Your period will come back even if you breastfeed! So it’s totally normal! Oh it will be crazy and you will wonder “how am I still alive” totally normal!
Oh I have a few for you 😂😂 The whole “private area” feeling like someone punched you post delivery – bruised/sore sensation! Breasts literally like lawn sprinklers!! Painful letdown during breastfeeding (literally stabbing pain when letdown happens). Crazy nausea during breastfeeding session! And can we talk about the wonderful RN’s at postpartum that (pretty much) without warning come and shove a disposable rubber glove filled with icy water into your awesome mesh underwear to ice your crotch!? – don’t get me wrong, much appreciated and equally unexpected, awkward and embarrassing 😂😂
Yes to all of this!!!
Also, no one tells you that when your water breaks, it keeps coming. Every time someone’s water breaks on tv, in the movies, or even when friends tell you “my water broke”, they all make it sound like it’s just this big fish of water and you’re done. Nope. It keeps coming and coming and coming. I literally felt like every ounce of water from my body was pouring out of my vagina.
“Fish” is supposed to be “gush”. Gush of water. My autocorrect hates me.
First time mom to be (due in July) and I have heard SOME of these things before. But THANK YOU for putting this together and being so REAL. 😳 Why do people not share these things with their family/friends about to go through this???? Sure, make me a “ must have baby stuff list” . But noooo, don’t tell me I’m going to lose my hair, poop on the table, and need major nipple therapy while breast feeding. 😭 lord have mercy.
My labor shakes came complete with puking; as if pregnancy had included enough of that 😝
I was not at all prepared for the post parting cankles, I got home and noticed that my ankles were huge, I have just enough medical knowledge for this to totally panick me but was reassured by the professionals it was totally normal!
The “jelly belly” afterwards…back ache… and your whole body aches after birth because you are using every muscle in your body to push that baby out.
First poop is THE WORST. My sister is a doctor, and she said that even with all of the different medical options for stool softeners, the best thing is still 100% pure prune juice. Drink 1 full liter in the 24 hours post-birth…it works MIRACLES! Now I include a bottle in all of my baby shower gifts. The FTMs look at me all confused and I just tell them that they will thank me in a few months time!!
I wish I read this before I gave birth 3 weeks ago. OMG the stinging while you pee was horrible! I almost passed out on the toilet. I was so afraid to pee because of the pain, I wasn’t drinking anything and it slowed my milk supply and I gave my self a UTI! Motherhood is so much fun…
Stephanie Vainer – Social Media
http://www.theallcanadiangirl.ca
Can we talk about the pressure you feel when it comes time to push! Holllyyyy molyyyy that was the worst
Part for me. I did not expect it to be like that!
Yes to all these! I just had a c section and I would add…
1) after the catheter – having to pee the first time while they measure is basically impossible. It’s like your body completely forgets how. Also, I’m 4 weeks PP and my body still doesnt tell me I need to pee! I had no idea this was a thing. I honestly don’t know how I’m not peeing myself constantly.
2) the crazy itchiness (plus shakes) you get post c section. You want to tear your legs off.
3) the pain of engorged boobs a few days after. Rock hard and knives. And basically bathing in your own milk.
4) severe swelling days after c section from all the extra IV fluids. I had Shrek feet and couldn’t walk. They did go back to normal….
Ditto the itchness and having those pressure things on your legs makes it so much worse.
I have a 7 week old and I still don’t feel like I have full control of my booty! The day I got home from the hospital my in laws came over and I could not control my farting and let out the biggest and longest fart I have ever had. It was so embarrassing but hilarious at the same time. Other than that I also didn’t know how swollen my vagina would be. It didn’t even feel like it was apart of my body. It was crazy! Thank you for this post! So great for expectant moms. You are awesome!
Such a great post! Yes to all of this. One thing I had with my second (VBAC) was a horribly bruised tailbone! Apparently this happens a lot, too (says my nurse). And sometimes it can dislocate from pushing, too. It hurts a lot, and I’m still recovering from this nearly four weeks out. With my first, I had a C section, and my milk took forever to come in. The lactation consultant said this is common with c sections and can make it extra stressful in those early days. Last thing, it’s totally normal if you don’t feel instantly bonded with your baby. I didn’t with my first (result of surgery? First kid nerves? Complete anxiety over doing everything right? No idea, but it took a few weeks to feel really close to her). With my second, I did feel the bond right away. And the mom guilt of not feeling that bond is no joke. However, both are normal and ok and not bonding instantly says nothing about how you will be as a parent. Hugs to all the mamas and future mamas out there!!
Thank you for writing this. My daughter was born 12 days ago and my emotions have been a roller coaster. I’m typically a very organized, control freak kind of person so I’ve had a really bad time adjusting to having a newborn. I’m tired, I’m dressed. There’s just so many feelings and I don’t feel that amazing in love feeling that I was expecting. 🙁
Nipple issues are a thing! I remember the first time looking down at my giant milk jug boobs and wondering what the heck was happening to my nipples. Tiny “brale like” bumps with a dramatic dark discoloration was my experience. Post nursing the bumps and color do go back to the new normal so no worries, but heads up Mommas….nipple issues are a thing!! 😊
These are all spot on! Them pushing on my stomach right after delivery and for the next day or so was actually really painful. And how many times they check you – front and back – after baby I was not ready for. It was so often that I started asking the nurses if they’d at least buy me dinner first.
I also thought stitches lasted 2-3 weeks (all the nurses told me this) but nope it’s 6-8 and at 4 weeks post baby my peri spray bottle is still my sidekick.
And breastfeeding is worth it but HARD. I saw 4 lactation consultants and they all had conflicting advice. I had to take what they said that rang true for me and also use my mama instinct to get the hang of it all. Also – that it takes up to 30 days for your milk to regulate to supply and demand for your baby. Your milk fluctuates throughout the day – so don’t necessarily think that you don’t have enough milk for your baby. This is true if you pump too – you may only pump a little at first but your baby’s suck is different than the pump suction and gets milk differently – sometimes lots more. All things I wish I knew in advance!
This is all so good.
I ended up having an emergency c after 12+ hours of labor. My water broke and my little was on his cord and his heart rate was decreasing like crazy, so a cesarean it was! I was NOT prepared for the recovery that came with that surgery. I could barely walk for days and couldn’t get in and out of chairs/bed/anything without my husbands help for weeks. And the pain that comes with that surgery, HOLY HELL! I wish I had even the slightest warning of what I was in for, but it’s all amazing, and crazy, and worth it.
Thanks for sharing this info. It’s so so important to talk about the good, bad and ugly!
Diastasis recti to be thanked for the mom pooch despite getting back to prepregnancy weight and verified veins in your crotch during pregnancy! That shit hurt so bad I wore the equivalent of what looked like a women’s jock strap for months to ease the pain 🤣😭😢🤣😢😩😩😩😩
I just wanted to say THANK YOU! I am pregnant with our first- and followed you long before I got pregnant- and loved that you were so open about everything so thank you!! This is what I was looking for!
-christine
http://www.shesjustmysister.com
Changes in your hair and I’m not just talking about increased volume from the hormones. My cousin went from dirty blond to dark brown. She had to have it died after the baby was born until the new color completely grew in. The next baby… same thing but back to dirty blonde. My hair got curlier with each kid and again during pre-menopause. I used to have stick straight hair and envied all the girls with curly locks. Now I abhor humid days and looking like a brillo pad!
I remember the misery of trying to hold my pee while waiting for the water to warm up at the sink to fill my peri-bottle. I just may have peed my pants a little each time. No pelvic floor muscles + full bladder + running water = mamma needs diapers too!
Oh, the phantom kicks!! My youngest is 19yrs. Yep, I still get those every once in a while and phantom letdown when a newborn is crying around me. So far I have resisted the urge to feed those babies myself! (I’m kidding.. I’d never actually do that. That would be creepy. 😉 )
This is such a great post!! I am due in 3 weeks with my first and really appreciate your honestly! I would much rather know what to expect than be surprised at this point! Thank you for keeping it real!
Thank you for this! I am not even married yet, will be in 2 months. I like to know what I’m getting myself into. I love babies, I grew up with multiple siblings with me being the oldest and an age gap in between us, so I have always been pretty motherly. I did not want to go into child-bearing gears naive, so I am thankful for this post! As the time gets closer I will probably come back to this post and make sure I have everything I need as far as depends, boob pads, etc. thanks for keeping it real girl!!! Love your blog.
How about a spinal headache or just a really bad head ache once they take you off fluids. They don’t tell you about it and when you bring up the headache they get you a Mountain Dew 🤨.. drink plenty of water!!!!! Thank you for this post!
Thank you for saying this. I had a sounds headache for days. It was so bad!
I’m a first time Mama to be come this May! I was literally filling my amazon cart while I was reading this. It was super helpful.
I had an allergic reaction to the morphine they gave during the c section. Uncontrollable itchiness all over my body- kept me sleepless the first night and definitely left me with rubbed raw parts of my face for a week. Good times. They gave me lots of benedryl, which somewhat helped.
Yes to everything else! The shakes- I thought it was just me!
Omg huge yes to all of this!! I hated the Fundal massage every morning ugh and I also had to get a shot of a blood thinner in my belly every morning, maybe that was just because of the c-section. One thing I would add is the swelling! Full body swelling (legs and face the worst. And again I had a c section but my vagina (labia specifically lol) swelled up so bad after we got home from the hospital I almost went to the emergency room! They said it was because I was in labor for so long before delivering (36 hours) and all the fluid from the epidural. So yes you bleed and get vaginal swelling even with a c-section! Also the first pee and poo KILL! The pee more so because of the catheter, the poo tho I literally had to Hypnobirth out, not even kidding I used all the labor breathing techniques! Lolol good thing all this fades away eventually and you’re just left with your beautiful children <3
I love this blog!! It’s amazing to me how no one talks about the nitty gritty of childbirth! Love how honest you are and how you ended with says how it’s all worth it. So true! 🙌🏼
This!!! THANK YOU for making a post about this! I’m an expecting first time momma & you literally NEVER hear anyone talk about this stuff! I want to know all these things so I’m not blind sighted 🙈 So, thank you for thi
Yup spot on! With my second I had to pee b4 I was allowed to get up and actually walk because epidural hadn’t worn off so the nurse had to put a pee Pan under me and I made a huge mess!
Ps 🙋🏻 I pooped.
They wanted me to pee a certain amount after, but I was so dehydrated – there was no chance! I didn’t have an epidural, but I still wasn’t allowed water because it had to be filtered? Idk 🤷♀️
Thank you for this post! Everything you said is so spot on. I’m currently pregnant with baby #2 and am dreading that first BM after delivery. It was so painful for me after my first 😬
One other thing I had no idea about was the insane itching that I had all over my arms and stomach after I got my epidural. Its a reaction to the epidural and I’m not sure how common it is but it was pretty annoying and definitely not something I was aware of.
I’m 3 weeks post partum now and i feel like for the first solid week this time around i was walking like a cowboy because everything was SO SWOLLEN AND SORE. I don’t think it was that bad the first time around but this time, holy crap.
I had no idea my ACTUAL vagina would be swollen. Like, I knew I would be sore but I remember wiping for the first time and be like uhhmmmm excuse me?! What is this?! Luckily I became bff’s with ice packs and all was well in about 24 hours
This post is life changing! While I may not become a mom for another year or two, I definitely feel like I’m somewhat prepared after reading this post. Lauren, you are such an amazing role model for so many people. You just have no idea! Thanks girl!
One other thing to add for C-Section mommy’s. Couching, sneezing or even laughing feels like your gonna pop a stitch for like 3/5 weeks after delivery!
Heck yes to this all 🙌🏻 !!! I just gave birth to my second on 3/10 a healthy baby boy named Austin😉 you hit the nail right on the head to it all! Us mom’s truly are WARRIORS!!!
NAILED IT! There is nothing more to say other then yes. Just yes. Oh and Cheers…because wine. 👌🏻😂🍷😘
Anyone else have to wear the compression things on your legs after to prevent blood clots? They like air up and squeeze then deflate over and over. They are noisy and uncomfortable and so annoying!
No one told me SOMETIMES the epidural doesn’t work! Luckily for me, they eventually got it. But nothing like getting that humongous needle in your back thinking you won’t have anymore pain and then you still feel EVERYTHING.
Also, everyone said to sleep during labor if you get the epidural. But how could you ever sleep more than 5 seconds when they don’t leave you alone?
I haven’t had any children yet but I so appreciate the honesty!!! So many of my new mama friends say they are shocked at how many things people leave out, especially their own moms! The more I know, the more prepared I feel!
I recently had a planned C Section (little babe was breech) almost 3 weeks ago and this is what I learned: 1) the epi/spinal block is frightening as hell! I chalk this up to the fact that I went into the surgery completely pain free. Due to the planned c, I didn’t experience labor, water breaking, mucus plug etc etc. You are literally stone cold sober and completely cognitizant of the entire process. I was told it would feel like novacane being administered at the dentist. Ladies, no, it’s a freaking needle being pushed into your back and yes, you DO feel it and all these weird sensations and pressure zipping thru your body immediately. It was the weirdest sensation I have ever experienced and for a split second you wonder if you are paralyzed. It literally feels as if warm blood is being washed over your legs and then, no feeling. Your mind is telling you to move your feet but those toes aren’t wriggling! 2). There are 1000 dr and nurses in the room and modesty goes out the window. Once you are numb, they literally lift your knees up and spread them wide open to insert a catheter. Again, did I mention the room full of 1000 dr and nurses? Yea, that’s fun. 3) The Shakes!!! Uncontrollable shakes to the point your teeth are chattering and there is nothing you can do. 4) Stool Softener is your bff – take it, take it, take it!!! I didn’t go #2 until 6 days post surgery and thank god for the softener because the ordeal was not as bad as I was thinking it would be. Also, eat healthy after you give birth. I stuck to eggs and melon fruits and cereal for the 3 days I was in the hospital. Bland, yes but your body will thank you! 5) You will feel like you are 85 hrs old moving and walking after surgery and for a good week. Give yourself time to heal and don’t beat yourself up. I had a moment where I had a pity party because I could barely walk but it will improve day by day. I’m a marathoner so it was mentally frustrating that I could barely walk 5 blocks when I used to be able to run 26 miles. Remember, c section is major abdominal surgery! Let your body heal! 6) Breast feeding is a mother f’r and if you can’t do it, don’t beat yourself up! A fed baby is a good baby so if you decide on formula, just know you are doing your best and don’t listen to anyone’s opinion. Your body, your baby! 7) For all the pain, just seeing your baby smile at you is worth it all!
PERFECTLY said!!! And my C-section “babies” are 13 and 6! They couldn’t get the needle in back due to my scoliosis so they tried 3 times! I had a HUGE bruise on my back due to it which added onto the fun…….. NOT
Nobody ever talks about the first time you have sex after childbirth! That is some scary sh*t! First of all, you don’t even feel like it, but your husband gets all excited when you get the green light after your 6 week pp appointment. If you’re breastfeeding everything is SO dry down there! And you don’t want to let him anywhere near your tits because those are for feeding babies now.. not his personal fun bags anymore! Your body is still all squishy, and possibly still bleeding… so it’s really hard to feel sexy because you still don’t feel like yourself yet and your hormones are still adjusting back to normal. I had my 6 week appointment today and I’m just like 😩
Omgoodness, it was the freaking Sahara Desert!
I just had my third 11 days ago, so everything is still fresh in my mind. I laughed at a lot of this
because it’s so true! You covered it all very accurately. Holy moly the night sweats! No one told me about that with my first, I was sure something was wrong with me.
No one told me, and for some reason it didn’t occur to me that once your water breaks it doesn’t stop coming!!
Oh totally! I had no idea!
The swelling down there!! No one told me that the labia and perineum can swell to the point where you feel like you have testicles! TMI!? Anyway, the swelling was a lot less with my second child and was totally gone within a week, but not so with my first. I felt swollen for so long and my walk was totally a waddle for several weeks.
Great post! Since I just gave birth for the 4th time 10 weeks ago some things are “fresh” in my mind. Getting the catheter put in sucks! It doesn’t matter that you’ve had the epidural I felt it every single time and it was uncomfortable. Sometimes when you get the epidural I know woman say it doesn’t take but this most recent time for me…it took “too much” I was too numb. Thankfully I was able to still push her out in less than 15 minutes! Lastly, the engorgement if you breastfeed. Be prepared you may look like Dolly Parton for a few days but it will go away.
Here is my list of sh*t no one tells ya about having a cesarean….
-You will walk like the Hunchback of Notre Dame for the first day or 2 post csection.
-Laughing, sneezing and coughing will make you want to punch someone (mainly your spouse), it hurts so bad!
-Holding a pillow over your incision when you have to cough, laugh, sneeze, stand up is utter bullsh*t! Like a pillow will stop from feeling like your incision is being torn open again! That’s a cute thought… 🤦🏻♀️🙄
Omg! Laughing, sneezing, coughing and crying was the worst after my c-section! I had to tell my husband he was not aloud to speak and kicked visitors out who started cracking jokes!
Amen sister. No one told me the pillow thing.
Oh I loved this so much!!! I have three kids as well (9,4,3) and you were spot on with everything!! I really enjoy your writing style, lots of facts with humor and honestly just feels like one of my girlfriends is chatting with me and giving me some honest practical advice 👍
Love this post and all the “fun” truths! I’m due with my third and the thing I’m most scared about is the after labor nursing contractions. I was seriously shocked by these after my first and thought something was terribly wrong no one ever mentioned them and they do only get worse with each baby😬
One of my favorite things a friend told me to do was freeze the witch hazel pads and line your pad with them… it was a game changer! Thanks for you honesty, I love following a long! Congrats on baby Austin
Great post, loved it! I would add the postpartum rash. I forget what it’s called (I didn’t get it but my best friend did, all over her body). Also, mastitis – it’s real bitch and you feel like you are going to die. Lastly, diastasis recti – I didn’t experience it with my 1st but had some with my 2nd, luckily all resolved (I’m 4mo pp). Sometimes it can be really extreme.
So glad you posted this, all of these things need to be shared with 1st time Moms so they really know what they’ve gotten themselves into 😉 lol. But seriously, it’s all so, so worth it!
Allll of the above plus puking. You may puke during transition… In fact, as soon as I started puking my nurse said “well… looks like it’s time to start pushing.”. She checked me.. and sure enough it was go time. And the fundal massage was enough to make me want to punch someone.. seriously, they suck so bad.
Clogged duct!. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and felt a giant lump in my boob! Scared me so bad the first time that happened (and hurt SO bad)!
Also, at the end of my pregnancy when I left the doctor and was dialted and ephased I thought that was pretty cool. Less work to do later right? I quickly found out that when you share that info other women tend to say, “Oh yeah, I was dialted 5 centimeters for 3 weeks before my delivery.” In my husband’s words, ” Damn, women are bougi about their dialation.” So basically, if you’re starting to dialte before your due date…don’t let others rain on your parade.
This list is awesome! Wish I had it before I had my girl!
This is awesome! The possibly of significant vomiting post baby (c-section) for me. I was nursing and literally puking over my daughters head for hours post delivery. Also post section the need to Literally roll out of bed the first couple times.
This is so spot on! From the shaking, to the first poop, you nailed it.
I have to say, along with the bleeding that seems to last forever and made me question if I was peeing my pants at times, I’ll never forget the clot or chunk of lining that I discarded after my daughter. It was the size of a walnut and seriously scared me. My Dr was so great and told me it’s completely normal and not to worry. My daughter is now 12, but I wish someone had written this post for me before my babies. Thanks Lauren! And rock on mamas, even 12 and 14 years later, I’d do it all over again. 💕
Love this! Such a great article! My main thing was no one told me I would feel like I had been in a car wreak after. I was so sore from pushing even my arms hurt ha. And the back pain from the epidural. I also got a positional headache from the epidural which scares me to have another kid. My epidural didn’t work and then caused that and I had to have a blood patch. It was no fun ha but trying to forget it so I can do it again ha. – also great to get a donut pillow. I had a 9 pound baby and the thought of sitting down made me cry
No one tells you that you could end up with Si joint disfunction…because your ligaments don’t retighten like they should and your SI joints don’t go back into place. Yup it’s a thing. Women are often told that it is just normal back pain even months after having their baby, when really it’s their SI joints. Been dealing with it for years. My advice to all moms to be is see a good chiropractor, it could make all the difference.
Such a great real post !! C section Moms it is normal to feel like you literally got hit by a train it’s major surgery give your self time to recover every one heals differently my second recovery kicked my ass ! Just give your self time
Thank you lauren!!!! I’m 20 weeks (first pregnancy) and I’m just so glad I found your blog. I had no idea about half of this stuff and I’m 38 years old!! No one talks about it lol!!
After my 3rd baby, I had NOOOO bladder control for weeks. AT ALL! It was like an open faucet. It was awful and I was not prepared for that… everything you said above though is so TRUE…. and I’d do it all over again.
Not all of these things happened to me, but a few things I was surprised by were:
Mean nurses. Seriously. It’s ok to ask for a different nurse if you get a cranky one!
Fracturing my tailbone. I guess it’s really common for women to actually fracture bones during labor and not know it. Mine was because of broken equipment in the delivery room.
Being freezing cold after having a baby. I used piles of blankets, doubled up on socks, cuddled up to heating pads…I was so cold!
Loss of appetite. Hungry, but unsure of what to eat.
Cluster feeding. It’s so hard.
Engorgement. I feel like you hear a lot about low supply issues, but no one really talks about over supply and how to manage it. The staff at the hospital I was at wouldn’t even show me how to use a pump because they’re anti-bottle. It sucked!
That breastfeeding might gross you out. It’s a hormonal thing. I hate the smell of breastmilk!
Recovery can take way longer than 6 weeks. And that’s ok.
Numb fingertips from water retention. I couldn’t feel my fingertips for 8 weeks after giving birth!
The swelling. Omg. I was terrified. And that your stitches could take longer to heal than the 10 days they tell you it’ll take.
That everyone will experience different things. So don’t freak about what other people have gone through. I didn’t get nursing contractions, heavy bleeding, bad latch, hair loss, BO…but I had some other issues. I still think it’s good to be prepared and know about these things!
The pain of them removing the tape from having the epiderual.
Yes to ALL of this! I was warned about everything you mentioned and felt somewhat prepared (although it was all WORSE than I could’ve imagined). However, there was one thing I experienced that NO ONE cared to mention (I didn’t even see it in any of the pregnancy books I read). I wasn’t prepared for the insane post partum leg swelling! Four days after delivery I was standing and suddenly felt my legs go weak. When I looked down I saw they were so swollen they resembled elephant legs! It was awful and I was terrified so I immediately called my doctor . I was expecting him to say I needed to rush to the ER or something. Imagine my surprise when they said it was perfectly normal. It would’ve been nice if someone had mentioned it! Ugh! Anyway, I’m convinced we don’t talk about this openly because if women truly understood how bad it is they might choose to not procreate 😂🤣
Thank you for this article! I remember walking in after my sister gave birth to her second and she was shaking so hard, didn’t realize that was a normal thing!
hahaha amen gf!
still not even sure how my body recovered..
💛
I would add that breastfeeding and/or pumping made my head pour sweat. My first was 11 weeks early, so I’d literally ask for padcicles to put on my neck while pumping in the NICU. Also, with my second I experienced D-Mer. It’s not common, but while bf’ing I had horrible anxiety and awful thoughts. I now know what it was, but it was bad enough to make me quit bf’ing earlier than I wanted to. I wish I had talked to my Dr about it before I quit!
These are all spot on! To ad to this, I got SUPER nauseas about 10 minutes after delivery, and several times in the first few hours after birth. It came on so quick that I had to immediately hand the baby off to my husband because I felt so terrible. And the shakes OMG that scared the shit out of me and probably my husband too! Haha! The nursing contractions and pooping afterwards may have been more traumatic than both of my labors and deliveries LOL
Great read…. nervous laughed a few times. So yup, not having kids!
Oh my goodness, I love this article. Every single thing you said I found myself shaking my head to or laughing from the memory! Definitely didn’t know about most of these with my first but my 2nd I feel a little more prepared!
For me it was pain from the IV and it seemed like forever before the nurse would take it out!!!
The shaking! I’m the only one I know that had this. I couldn’t even hold my first right away because of this!!
One thing to add- if you can’t pee after birth they can make you! I told the nurse oh this is no problem, it’s like peeing with your friends at a bar… no total stage fright I guess so the stuck something (no idea what) up there and bam I peed hah.
I labored for 20 hrs to end up having an emergency c-section. One thing I didn’t know with a c-section was the swelling after! Your legs will likely look and feel like HUGE tree trunks! It’s completely normal, but took a good week or two for the swelling to go down. I had an October baby and trying to find shoes to wear was the worst!
I would definitely say these things are all accurate. The only things I have to add are about the epidural and my personal experience with stitches (down there)…
The epidural may not work properly so be prepared to still feel pain. Mine only worked on one side and baby put a ton of pressure on my left hip. I ended up going to the chiropractor weeks later to fix it! When you get an epidural you also get a catheter. I was not told that there’s also a very good chance you will later get a uti so guess what I got?… also my urethra was very sore for weeks from it. I would assume some type of bruising from the baby putting pressure with the catheter there.
Lastly my personal hell from the stitches from the episiotomy. I left the hospital on a Friday and had the first pediatrician appointment that Monday. Which in my opinion is a nightmare for them to expect you to be able to attend but somehow we do it. I was in excruciating pain, worse than childbirth itself. I called my obgyn and they saw me the same day. I found out somehow I lost some stitches and was wide open! In a normal situation I now know it should not be near as painful as it was for me. I ended up having to see the dr several times a week for her to treat it and I can happily say my baby is 2 months old and I’m able to live a normal life and sit down without cringing! I looked into my baby’s eyes today and say to my husband, “I’m gonna miss these days, soon I’ll be begging for another”. After all of that I would still do it again. It’s all worth it!
I’m expecting our first baby (yay!) and just read this. Wowsers. I knew a lot of it, but boy am I in for a ride. 😬😌 Curious to hear if you have any recommendations for how to prep the hubby for all that’s in store. Any tips? Books? Etc?
Yessss to diastasis recti !! None of my doctors warned me about it, and my son is now two and I’m still struggling with it😓 gotta love pregnancy!
Nice to hear this all even after 2 kiddos! Would have been awesome to know before them, but also makes me feel good knowing all the shit I went through wasn’t just me either!!! One thing that was a HUGE surprise for me was how badly it hurts when your milk comes in and you get engorged. Like literally within hours of coming home with my first I was in excruciating pain. My boobs were ginormous and rock hard. It was like I got a boob job that I didn’t ask for after giving birth 😩
Thank you for this post!! I am due with my first in May and I have totally read and taken all this advice and stocked up on all the post partum necessities. Thanks for being real, so much better to know what to expect and to know they are normal in the moment rather than panicking and calling the doctor. I also took your advice and got those Silverette nipple covers to try and get ahead of this! And hiring a lactation consultant to my home. But I think what we have learned is it will be hard and painful so stock up on all the relief remedies!
I had NO idea about swelling AFTER baby!! I never did get any swelling during my pregnancy but after….my feet were like swollen elephant feet. It was awful! So painful and it lasted a whole week!! Flip flops wouldn’t even fit my feet!!! I was never told about this but it’s totally normal!
My face itched uncontrollably after both of my boys were delivered. It only lasted a day or so, but it was awful. It is a good thing babies are so cute! 😉
Pregnant and FTM here but luckily I have heard all this before. I guess it’s good to have sisters that have all had children before me.
I wish someone would have told me about having a nurse assist you in the bathroom after giving birth and the lovely measuring of everything pouring out of you 🙁 I also experienced an odd creepy crawly feeling up and down my arms while nursing for the first few weeks….absolutely awful and made me want to jump out of my skin!
Yes to all of this! Especially how challenging breastfeeding was; took us a full two months for things to drastically improve.
Two things that really surprised me were:
1. The swelling after delivery. I didn’t get too swollen during my pregnancy, but my legs and feet became SO swollen about a day after I delivered. I was totally shocked and kept my feet elevated until it improved. Who knew?!
2. I lost TOTAL bladder control following my delivery for about three days. I would have zero feelings of needing to go to the bathroom, then a super intense feeling and then bam. My dr said it was totally fine and my bladder control would return. I mean, thank goodness for those massive pads and diapers because this Mama needed them! 😉
I was induced with Cervadil and Pitocin (and used a foley bulb – which surprisingly didn’t hurt at all like I was told it would 🤷🏽♀️) and also got an epidural (which was also surprisingly painless). I can say the itching, shaking, nausea that comes with the epidural tho…that was a surprise to me! I told the nurses I felt like puking and they immediately gave me Zofran in my IV which helped immensely!!! Don’t be afraid to ask for it if you feel queasy! I never did end up puking and the nausea pretty much went away immediately. Also a thing called a “peanut ball” was a huge help with opening my pelvis and shortening labor. Ask for that too! Clearly all of it wasn’t enough to keep me away a second time – my daughter is 14 months now and I’m 8 weeks away from having my second daughter!
Loved this post!!
Three months of night sweats with my second baby! The worst!!
Also with second I passed huge clots post parting, always in the middle of the night after I had been laying down for a few hours, was almost as painful as labour!
I was so brutally honest with my friends after I had my son. I said, “I don’t want to scare you, but you should know….” Nobody told me half this stuff and I was so irritated with my girlfriends who had babies before me. Now I tell the truth, the whole nasty, wonderful, I’d-do-it-again truth!! Thank you for this post.
C-section tips… have them leave the catheter in a little longer, gives you more time to rest before you have to be responsible for your bladder again 🙂
Take your stool softeners and DO NOT PUSH… you will pop a stitch, and it will make an ugly scar (even if the nurses tell you it’s fine… it’s not).
Take your pain meds on schedule, and don’t try to be a hero and wean yourself off too early… once you fall behind, it’s hard to play catch-up, and you’ll cry a lot…
I’ve had 3 babies and 3 totally different experiences. I had uncontrollable gas the day after I delivered my 1st. And guess what? All those freaking muscles you use to hold a fart in were spent. So I just sat there farting LOUDLY while people came to visit. So classy, I know. I’m laughing as I write this because it’s hilarious now. The postpartum poo is probably more scary than actual labor. I’m going in with no. 4 in a few months and I feel like I need an epidural just to sit on the toilet.
Lauren, you rock and I’m so glad I found your Instagram stories and blog!!
C-section: holy cow I was NOT prepared at all! Not that I think you can be prepared… but I wish I’d been more informed on the process and post partum.
The shakes, those are intense especially if you’re exhausted from pushing and then end up having a csection.
Back labor, so painful (I was throwing up)
Fundal Massage – I don’t know how painful it is after vaginal labor, but as soon as you get into the recovery room after c-section surgery they start “massaging” every 15min… one of the most painful “massages” I’ve ever experienced… be prepared.
“Tender time” – be prepared that you may not get this quiet time with your baby and significant other right after the baby is born when you have a c-section.
Pooping/passing gas/gas pain – it took WEEKS for my bowels and digestive system to get back to normal. I suggest a colon cleanse tea and probiotics and even then it was tough. But I should have done it sooner (next time)
Hospital nursery – c section is painful and it’s tough to move around etc. it’s ok to ask the nursery to help out so you can get situated. You’re not a bad mom if you ask for help.
Breast feeding – Like Lauren said, its hard!! Be patient, be calm, ask for help, nipple shields help. If you have to pump, it’s okay.
Although it’s difficult and painful it’s amazing all at the same time. I’ve never known a love like what I feel for my little girl and seeing my husband and our families with our little girl.
Thank you again, Lauren!
The one thing that amazed me when I had my daughter was the fact that when you breastfeed , it doesn’t matter which boob your baby is on- the other boob will leak simultaneously! I don’t know if this is just a common sense reality that somehow slipped my mental grasp but this was definitely an adjustment my first time breastfeeding)
2 things. That your boobs literally turn as hard as a rock afterwards! Mine looked awesome, looked like I got a boob job haha but they were rock solid and hurt like hell!! That milk is no joke man..
And the other thing is, COUGHING, SNEEZING, maybe laughing or yelling.. forget about it. Always wear panty liners, even years later.. your bladder is no longer your friend! Lol don’t even think about jumping on a trampoline!
Great post Lauren! So much real info. One thing I didn’t know back when I had my first was how messy everything is right after delivery. I had to use the restroom and the nurse was making sure the “measuring cup” was in the toilet and I got up and started walking. She had not told me to gather up the bed pads and hold them in place. 😩 huge mistake. Blood and grossness all down my legs and on the floor. I was mortified. Lesson learned.
Oh em gee C section mommy here.
Post eclampsia. 4 days post partum my blood pressure spiked right before discharge. Luckilyi was still at/in hospital. No one talks about this extremely dangerous condition.
Take care of you.
That first real poop. Ugh.
To ALL Mommas to be Happy Healthy Baby Happy Healthy Mommy that’s all that matters. We all go in with a birth plan but if there has to be a c just remember happy healthy baby happy healthy mommy at the end of the day that’s all that matters.
Walk as soon as possible. it truly helps.
I actually felt my water break. Weirdest feeling ever. It is no joke. The gush.
No one tells you. When baby wants to come there is no stopping pushing.
ENJOY EVERY SECOND BLINK AND THEY HAVE CHANGED.
Diastis Recti? Is that how you spell it? Your abodomen muscle not closing back all the way!! I didn’t have the night sweats I can remember.. the Cluster Feeding is no fucking JOKE that was a hard time.. feeling like I wasn’t enough to feed my baby! Being induced because you have Strep B! Passing out after labor!! The shittu hospital food!! Be prepared bring your own stuff!! Great article!
Well written my girl!
I didn’t realize what baby blues really meant. For me, every evening when the sun would set, I would start crying. This lasted for about the first 2 weeks. My sister and I had our babies 2 days apart and would call each other and compare our days. We would just cry and laugh at each other because we had no idea why we were crying. It helped to be able to laugh about it. Then, after each additional child, this crying in the evening would occur. Also, my anxiety would go through the roof. I would dream of horrific things that could happen to my baby. I was so scared. Now, my kids are 16,13 and 10. My advice looking back – everyone has an opinion, but you need to do what is right for your family. Also, taking an anti-depressant doesn’t mean you are depressed and crazy. It really helped me after my 2nd child with my anxiety. Those hormones are no joke. I only needed them for about 6 months and was so thankful for them. Lean on your husband’s and get them informed on all of this so they can truly understand what we are going through. Oh, I pooped a ton with my 1st baby. My husband said, “ you are going to feel so amazing after you deliver “. Lol
Lol I seriously love you!! But yes, I have two littles and when I was pregnant with my first I sat my sis-in-law I was close with down and MADE her tell me about child birth! She was brief like everyone else I asked and I was so annoyed because I’m a planner and want to know what’s going to happen! Let’s just say I didn’t know about 80% of this going in with my first! 😱 this post is AMAZING for letting others know what to expect and be comfortable (ish) and ready haha! ❤️
Great read! I’m due with my 1st in September and this is great stuff to be prepared for! Thank you for sharing!
ALL OF THIS!!!!!!! and can I say…. I had them get a mirror for me. Not so I could see my baby coming but so I could see where I was pushing from. Visualization helps so much! if you have an epidural you “cannot” feel where anything is down there. I could because mine didnt take. But, the mirror helps soooooooooo much!!!!!!
Ugh yes to all of this!! And with the bleeding…. the blood clots you pass 🤦🏻♀️ TERRIFIED ME. Thought i was dying. Still kicking though, don’t worry 😂
This was so cute! With my babies I did not experience some of these things but I would have so loved to be prepared if I did!! Like the placenta… I was a young teen mom and I read a lot to prepare, but no one else would have told me! Your family is adorable and you are beautiful. Congratulations!! ❤️❤️❤️ #instafam
The one thing I felt totally unprepared for after vaginal deliver is that feeling the first time you stand up after to go to the bathroom. Where it literally feels like all of your insides are sliding right on out of you. I just wasn’t prepared for that sensation AT ALL!
After I delivered my first born, my epidural was rather strong so I had to lie there for a bit. Well when I got up to shower some hours later…. a melon sized blood clot came on out! Anyone want some jello? Pretty crazy seeing that on the drain! I am in the medical field so I figured it accumulated while I was on my back but boy was it still a little shocking. I got the nurse just to show her. And was told to just mash it up down the drain! Fun stuff! I had 2 more kids, one with no epidural, felt the ring O pain…. and the last one I had an epidural but no blood clot!
YES! Although I think I had a reaction to the epidural because I had the total OPPOSITE problem with pooping (it was waaaaay too easy, if you catch what I’m saying). I couldn’t stop it and actually pooped my pants a few days postpartum! Mastitis is the worst – deal with plugged ducts ASAP! Pitocin contractions are intense. I had to be induced with my daughter when my water broke due to infection. I was doing great with the back labor until I hit 4-5 cm! If you have to get an epidural and you didn’t plan on it, don’t feel bad! And the epidural may not work on you…. or may only work on half your body like it did for me!
Also, don’t be afraid to challenge doctors and nurses. My daughter went to NICU because she aspirated on colostrum. They wanted to treat her like a preemie NICU baby, and I had to constantly remind them that she was only 2 weeks early! And if your baby does have to go to NICU, you can still nurse. My daughter was in NICE for 5 days, and I pumped to get my milk to start flowing and come in – ask for that hospital grade pump! Then you can feed your baby your milk if you want to breastfeed!
This book comes out in April and I cannot wait to read it. The reviews are great and it seems like it’s right along these lines. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35959678
I feel like I was adequately prepared for most of these, but then right after labor I remember them coming at me with an injection of pitocin to help the uterus contract. Just when I thought it was over, oh – more needles.
I nursed one and bottle fed the other, mention how bad it hurts if you are not nursing, they get hard like rocks, can’t touch them, painful until milk dries up.I
Great post! A few things to add. My epidurals always took forever to wear off. So I was stuck in bed waiting for a nurse to bring me a bed pan and my baby. And yes it’s normal in some ladies. My husband is an anesthesiologist. Yes he wanted me to have an epidural. He says, “child birth is hard enough on your body, why be in pain too. “I love that man of mine. Next, the engorged breasts are like alien invasion. Getting a baby to latch on is so hard. Poor little things would have to detach their jaws!!!! So that being said, latching on to a nipple hurts like hell. It’s work Ladies! But once you learn how to “ride the bike” it’s so much easier!
I just had my first baby 2 weeks ago and this was all spot on for me! Though I think I had it a little easier since he was only a tiny 4 lbs, my vagina was a (relatively) happy camper! Another thing I had heard of but never really expected was the “ring of fire”. I had an epidural and even though my baby was small, my husband said I gave out a “war cry” during the ring of fire hahah
Witch hazel pads? I’m clearly not a mom yet haha
Yes to all that!
I would add a few things I was PISSED no one warned me about:
If you end up having a Csection (especially after you’ve labored for MANY hours) it hurts like F$&@ afterward! Sitting up is literally the freaking worst! Prepare for this JUST IN CASE and get a postpartum wrap ahead because it helps so much!
Even if you have a C, sex hurts after. I thought it was going to be fine since I didn’t deliver vaginally but it literally felt like he was sticking a knife in my vag! And it was like that until about 6 months PP.
Petocin induces contractions are the absolute WROST, especially if you’re water has already broken.
If you feel like you’re epidural is wearing off- it is. And you may have to fight someone to get them to fricken listen to you and fix it.
We are freaking warriors!
Wish I had read something like this before I gave birth! I didn’t know any moms, all my friends were single and/or no kids. Talking to older moms is no help in this department because they don’t remember! They’ll say, oh it’s not the bad! HA. I would add that you still look pregnant after delivery and I cried when I saw my battered body in the mirror, it was just really shocking. Of course now I’m very proud of what it did. I agree with everything you said about breastfeeding and I’m so glad I found a support group. I cried and cried to the nurses there!! You have to start nursing like right away, right after baby is born, and pretty much round the clock for weeks afterwards. So just settle in and get used to it. That’s normal! 🙂
Yes to all of this! I almost passed out after pooping the first time! I would also like to add that I had an epidural and every time they turned me to the left to wanted to vomit. Although with the epidural I would pass gas and not even realize I was doing it until I heard it come out. 🤦🏻♀️ Lastly no one tells you that you can be so exhausted from being in labor for 28 hours and pushing for four of them that you can’t even remember anything from your first night in the hospital. I was delirious! Good thing these babies are so worth it!
Well said. I knew I would have bleeding after but was not prepared for how much! When my nurses said “gush” I thought that might happen the first time or two, not every time I moved! The bathroom looked like a massacre had happened each time I went to the bathroom! lol. Also the “jelly belly” and feeling like i had an empty stomach but not “empty.” It was a strange feeling.
Anyone else have a crazy sweet tooth while nursing??? I wasn’t much for sweets before having my first and had a bit of seeet tooth while pregnant but it was nothing compared to how bad it was while I was nursing.
Gosh. Mom’s are such freaking badasses. I’m pregnant with my 3rd and finally catching up on some of your posts!
My daughter delivered two months early and her son was in NICU for 9 weeks. He is home and healthy now, thank goodness. Noone in our family had ever experienced this. My daughter was outstanding in caring, nursing, and loving this baby. She spend 12 hours a day at the hospital and at the end moved in 24/7 to care for her son. It was hard but she did it and I am extremely proud of her and her loving, supportive boyfriend. NICU is difficult but babies get remarkable care and parents get wonderful support.