Why are we so close lipped about the stuff that REALLY happens when you have a baby? You can take all the classes and read all the books and yet there’s STILL stuff that seems to be left out! Well, I’m sharing it all with you today ladies, so its up to you whether you want to continue reading or not 😉 Here’s all the shit they DON’T tell you about having a baby!
Photo credit: Alicia Ann Photographers
The shakes. I remember being in labor with my first and SHAKING uncontrollably. I had no idea that was a normal thing! So when you start shaking like crazy, just know it’s okay!
You may poop during labor. Surprise! Didn’t know that? Yep, it’s true! In fact, most women do! Because if you ain’t poopin’, you ain’t pushin. But don’t worry, you probably won’t even realize and then nurses are SUPER discreet about it! So you’ll never even know.
Tearing. It’s very possible you might tear during labor. There are a variety of degrees of tearing, some worse than others. But honestly, its super normal and actually PREFERABLE to an episiotomy. I feel like episiotomies are a thing of the past because it’s been found that the body actually heals better when it tears on its own. I tore with Landon and Noelle and required just a few stitches, but surprisingly didn’t tear with Austin! Again, normal.
It burns to pee. If you tore, it will most likely burn like HELL when you pee for the week after delivery! Use that peri-bottle they give you (that shit is your BFF) and squirt warm water down “there” while simultaneously peeing…it helps SO MUCH!
Delivering the placenta. I’m not sure why this is NEVER discussed, but after you push out that baby you have to then deliver the placenta too. This has never really been a big deal for me. It didn’t hurt, it kind of just slid right out. But it’s weird if you didn’t already know about it, so let this prepare you for what’s to come!
Bleeding. Again, something that’s never talked about. You WILL bleed for 6 and even 8 weeks post delivery REGARDLESS of whether you had a vaginal or cesarean birth! Stock up on super maxi pads and Depends because you’ll need them no matter what! You’re bleeding will start off bright red and slowly and gradually darken and then turn to white. This is called “lochia,” and it’s a normal part of childbirth eeeeeerybody goes through.
Nursing contractions. Holy balls, these are the actual WORST. And news flash, they get worse with each baby! Not even kidding, they were toe-curling painful and almost worse than labor this third time. Basically these happen because your uterus contracts back down with the release of oxytocin while nursing, and expect a gush of blood as a result too! The good part is these only last a few days, THANKFULLY. But MAN do they SUCK while you’re going through them, and basically plan on loading up on the Ibuprofen.
Fundal massage. There’s this lovely thing the nurses will do EVERY SHIFT while you’re in the hospital called a fundal massage. They’re basically making sure your uterus is contracting back down and that it doesn’t feel “boggy” (a sign of possible hemorrhage). So while it’s necessary, it’s annoying AF and causes more blood to gush, so just a heads up!
Hemorrhoids. These F-ers are a bitch. And guess what? You might get them BEFORE delivery, too! They’re super common from pushing, and basically Tucks pads will be your BFF. Unfortunately they don’t always go away (although they did for me, so there’s hope!). Think of them as a reminder of your labor experience 😉
The first poop post-delivery. Let me start by saying ALWAYS TAKE THE STOOL SOFTENER. Always. Do not skip it. PROMISE ME you will not skip it. Because if you do, you are IN. FOR. IT. You’re gonna feel like you’re basically dying and just plan to be on the toilet for a good 45 minutes. You’re gonna have to give yourself a pep talk before it begins, like “Yesss, I can do this. I think I can, I think I can. You’re a badass mama who just birthed a baby, you CAN handle this poop too.” When it happens, there might be some sweating and even a little crying, but once it’s done you’ll feel like a bathroom warrior. And then it’s easier with every subsequent poop! 😉
Breastfeeding is really f-ing hard. It’s HARD! I don’t understand why everyone is always “breastfeeding is easy and shouldn’t hurt!” Well no, it SHOULDN’T hurt, but guess what? IT DOES. It hurts a lot. Babies are all shapes and sizes, and so are nipples. It’s rare to NOT have soreness at first. And holy sh*t, the soreness! Not mention possible cracked nipples, thrush, and all the other ailments the might go with it. It takes time for baby to learn to latch and for you to learn how to hold the baby to do so. It’s all a big learning process and surely doesn’t happen overnight. I could go on and on for hours about this, but just know it’s not something that comes easy and ALWAYS ask for help from a lactation consultant (even if you don’t want to!).
Leaking. Just do yourself a favor and pick yourself up some of these! You will leak overtime you have a let down if you’re breastfeeding, and if you’re not prepared you’ll be left with a lovely wet spot on your shirt. This goes for overnight, too! Can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up soaked from milk! Breast pads are your friend! 😉
Night sweats. I hate this sh*t so much. No one tells you that your hormones shifting will cause these awful night sweats where you LITERALLY sweat the bed. I’m talking full out changing clothes and sheets kind of sweating. And then you wake up freezing and it’s this vicious cycle all over again. This only lasts for a few weeks, but it’s brutal because you don’t see it coming. I can go to bed fully naked and STILL break a sweat during this time. None of the books I read as a first time mom warned me of this!
The STANK. We’re just a whole lot smellier postpartum! I need to shower twice a day as a result because I can’t stand the smell. Probably because of the literal blood and sweat, but man those showers are necessary. I will wake up significantly earlier than the rest of my house to fit a shower in!
Being constantly hungry. If you’re breastfeeding, you’re burning calories without even moving! This means there’s CONSTANT hunger happening. I can out eat my husband at this point, and still be hungry! In fact, I keep snacks on my bedside table for middle of the night feedings. Mamas gotta get her snack on, too!
Hair loss. Oh, that postpartum hair loss. Causing moms around the world everywhere to look like they’re balding 😉 Kidding, it’s not THAT bad, but it’s bad. The hair loss starts around month 3 and can literally fall out for 6 months. I lost so much hair with my first that my husband thought I was sick! And then that awful hair regrowth is a real fun time.
“Other” effects. Stretch marks, a weak pelvic floor, peeing when you sneeze, bladder prolapse…there are a variety of things that can happen as a result of childbirth. Men don’t know how easy they have it 😉
How jacked up your vag looks after a vaginal birth. K, can we be honest? How many of you took a mirror down there to see just what it looked like? Yeah, it’s not pretty! Things never look the same post birth, apologies to your significant others in advance!
The emotions. Oh the emotions. Ladies, this is normal but sometimes it’s not normal. Never hesitate to speak to your doctor if you’re feeling really down, or anxious, or angry. There’s a difference between baby blues and postpartum depression, so if you’re feeling anything at all then speak up! So many moms go through this, and while it’s not something that happens to everyone, it’s very common. Our hormones are fluctuating, we’re sleep deprived, juggling a new routine, having good and bad days…it’s not surprising for depression or anxiety to rear it’s ugly head. Know you are NOT alone, and please speak up and get help!
Photo credit: Victoria Gloria
How quickly we forget about alllllll of this and want to do it all again because of the AMAZING gift it brings. Ladies, we are rockstars. Pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period are not easy by any means. It’s a blessing to be able to experience it because not everyone gets this opportunity. The female body is incredible, and when I look down at my kiddos I’m reminded of just that. They are worth every frustration, every pain, and every stretch mark because we brought life into the world! And THAT is an amazing thing!
Did I miss anything?? Leave a comment below! 😉 Also, if you’re a cesarean mama please leave a comment with what you think others should know, too!
Yes to all of this! For some reason I didn’t expect (and no one mentioned) the waddle I would have after my vaginal delivery and how careful I should be sitting down for a few days after! I sat down a little too hard the day after my delivery and almost cried. 😩
That most women don’t have their water break at the start of labor – and that it might need to be broken for you. This was the worst part of the entire experience for me. I should have gotten the epidural before I let this happen! The damn contraption looks like a coat hanger :X
omggggggg yes it does! Mine broke at home with my first, with the first push with my second, and then they broke it for me with the hanger with my third! Luckily i had that epidural (first time I had one, too!)
Mine broke at home with my first also. But second time, they had to break it.
I appreciate this & you more than you know! I gave birth 6 weeks ago to my 3rd baby & it’s been so refreshing to follow along on this journey together. We’ve got this!
Swelling! I was so swollen from being pregnant and then they push more fluid into you for the epidural. Because of this they had a heck of a time getting an IV in my hand and getting the catheter in. Um holy OUCH. I think those two things were worse than all the other pains.
Shaking. I shook uncontrollably the ENTIRE time. Apparently not uncommon.
BACK LABOR. Worst thing ever.
Yes!! The swelling with my second was alarming. I didn’t swell much with my first, but with the second I swelled so much I thought my legs would explode. The nurses said it was normal!
The first pee after giving birth was worse than the poop. It burned like hell!!!! I wasn’t expecting that at all!
Breast feeding omg!!!!! You are prepared for 9 months on giving birth and while that’s hard you aren’t prepped for breast feeding. To me breast feeding was worse than labor. I was in labor for 3 days, so it wasn’t a quick labor. Breast feeding takes weeks to get down with very little prep.
Love that post!
I like to add 2 things about after a C-Section: you have to fart 💨, and the nurses will ask you if you did, until then you don’t get any solid food, only broth, jello, more broth, more jello, and guess what, more broth…. it took me almost 2 days to freakn fart and I cried afterwards because I could finally eat some real food.
2nd, to pee… after they take the catheter out you have to pee within a certain time frame. And you have to pee in a measuring cup, because they want to know how much you peed. It was so ridiculously hard for me to pee for the first time. I remember my blather almost „exploded“, but I couldn’t manage to pee…. my husband had to give me moral support in the bathroom. Also tell the nurse to get out of he bathroom, I cannot pee in front of a stranger staring at me, not gonna work… I was more prepared the second time around, but would have wished I would have known all of that.
Yes! And heaven forbid the gas move in to your shoulder instead of coming out!! That happened with my second and I thought I was having a heart attach!
OMG 😱
Oh goodness, I forgot about NEEDING to pee after the catheter and not being able to. It was awful. I wasn’t peeing enough, so they almost kept me in the hospital another day. …and then that stupid catheter caused a UTI.
This is amazing! Is there any way you can explain why some of these things happen? Like why does pooping actually hurt? Obviously I’m not a mom yet lol. Thanks!!
Pooping hurts if you have a vaginal birth because your vagina is ALLLLLL sorts of jacked up and you could possible have tears from delivery. Basically because of where it is 😉
And also (and what I didn’t realize) is that because if you have an epidural, the drugs slow your digestion and actually hardens your stool a bit so the first poop post-birth can be terrifying and painful because of that added pressure where you just pushed out a human and have stitches. My first time after was fine and I thought I was in the clear. I even remember thinking why does everyone say this is so bad? WELL, it wasn’t until week 3 that even with softeners I thought I tore my stitches, going hurt so bad. I had insane pain in my intestines every time. And the hemorrhoids! Ahhh again I thought I was in the clear until week 3. It’s brutal. I’m wondering if my digestion will ever be normal again!
Prepare yourself for the fury that is the post c-section #2. You’ve just had your abdominal muscles sliced apart and then sewn back together so the actual straining and pushing can be very painful and difficult. Not to mention that your incision will feel like it’s being ripped open. My advice: grab your baby, a magazine or five, and some snacks. You’re going to be in there a good hour or more. And as weird as it sounds…bring a pillow with you to put on your lap and press into. I promise you it will be so much easier to do this with a pillow to lean over. Your incision will thank you! I have never felt more accomplished than I did after that hour in the bathroom.
Sometimes you throw up during labor. No one warned me about this! I threw up during contractions and during pushing. So that was gross!
Yes! I threw up during my contractions 3 times before they gave me an epidural. I have a very low pain tolerance and the pain was too much for my stomach to handle!
Yes! I threw up 4x before I started pushing!
Yep me too!!
Yes! I was throwing up even with the epidural and during pushing.
Besides the first post partum BM, I dread peeing for the first 2 weeks after birth when we decided to try for baby #2. It was the worst – even with a “peri bottle”. Nothing like some acidic pee to cleanse the any tears.. ouch!
Ah the first poop!!! SO TRUE!!!! Lol. This was such a great read 🙌. My girl is two now and remember everything like it was yesterday. One thing with my epidural was I got the shakes. They don’t tell you this could happen (or if they did, I sure didn’t listen!!). I kept asking if something was wrong 🤣
The process after using the bathroom for the first few weeks. I was so not prepared for the spray bottle, the dermoplast, the witch hazel pads, etc! Like a typical first time mom I thought I would be able to wipe like normal. All my awesome Mom friends failed to mention that part of after birth hahaha! All these are so on point! Love you for always being willing to #sharetheshit
The shaking after you give birth. I got really freaked out that my legs wouldn’t stop shaking! (I still don’t know if all women do this?! Lol but I do)
Delivering the placenta is a great one. I had no idea after my first came out that I was going to now deliver the placenta. I answered the doc with “Huh?” When she said it was now time to do that
Unless it was just ME the lochia smells! No one told me it smelled, I thought something was wrong with me. LOL
YES, that’s part of the smell! I told my husband it smells like something died, hahahaha
Yes! They never tell you but it’s terrible:( I had my baby a day before you did and I am like give me all the showers- I hate this smell haha🚿🤣
For c section mamas- INSANE GAS. I mean INSANE.
More. Painful. Then. Labor. 😭😭😭😭😭 brought me to tears
So bad!
I second this!! Gas-X is your bff!!
I was farting like nobody’s business. seriously before I was even out of recovery.
Such an accurate post!! I’m pregnant with my second now, and you really do forget some of these things!😭 But yes, so worth it still! And our bodies are amazing!!
you covered alllllll the bases with this post! A couple things that aren’t so bad postpartum… the ENDLESS HUNGER that accompanies breastfeeding. I’m more hungry now that I’m nursing than when I was pregnant. Oh, and phantom kicks! Am I the only one who gets these!? Fake tiny baby kicks that kindly remind me how much I miss the bump!
Yes to phantom kicks!!!!! I always have these!
I didn’t know those were a thing… I had them too!
All of this…yes. If only someone had prepared me 😂 I had serious vag pain during pregnancy that got worse with each one (like actual knives were stabbing me in the vag with every move). It’s actually the main reason I stopped at 3 babies. I think it has to do with the ligaments or something.
Yes!!! Especially the first poop my goodness I’m pregnant now and I think that is the one thing I’m most anxious about after labor! Thankfully it does get somewhat better.
The one thing I was most under prepared for was postpartum care. The lack of ability to to care for myself the hours after birth. I thought “oh the baby will come and I will go to the bathroom, be able to walk around and put on some clothes…” it took me almost a week before I could totally dress myself. I was not prepared for someone having to physically take care of lady land until I regained feeling in my legs…. sadly for me was 12 hours later. Talk about humbling. You’re right about one thing you “kind of” forget these and sign yourself up for it again. Haha!
My son is almost 9 months & I wish I saw this post before giving birth because YOU SHARED ALL THE REAL SHIT. I can’t tell you how much stuff I didn’t know was going to happen during labor which makes it more scary. I’m sure every mom who goes into labor kind of blind worries this “normal” isn’t actually happening to anyone else even though it’s all common. Soon to be moms really need to see this!
Diastasis recti on top of all of this.. but its not that common to singleton pregnancies though
My struggle from all of this was mostly bf..
Things I remember: Having a c-section and wanting to cry every time my (now ex) husband hit a bump on the way home from the hospital because it made things jiggle and was so painful, my boobs turning hard as a rock from being so engorged, water from the shower hitting my sore nipples and gritting my teeth through it, buying granny panties post partum because keeping that loose tummy all in one place felt like heaven after trying to wear my smaller underwear. I remember crying on my couch the day I came home from the hospital with my oldest because I just felt so different in my body. The post partum belly isn’t a cute baby bump, it jiggles, it feels weird, and I just had a mini freak out about it. I had to walk with a pillow pressed against my abdomen for a few days after my first csection because every step made it sore.
Another thing I didn’t know much about before my first was that when you have a csection (don’t know if this is different now or varies depending on the hospital) but they strap your arms down and you can’t hold your baby right away. They will let you see him or her… then after you get shut up, you go to recovery. My (now ex) husband was in a room with the baby while I was in a room recovering until I could wiggle my toes, after an hour or so (?) I was moved to my room and got to hold my son. Just be prepared for something like that should you have an emergency c section. It kinda sucked.
Oh yeah, when I was in labor with my first, I started panicking through my contractions. I was crawling up the bed because they were so intense and I was so unprepared for how quickly they came on once I hit a certain point. I had to pee at one point and I remember thinking there was no way I was going to be able to make it to the toilet. So I asked/begged my nurse if I could just pee where I was. Sweet angel woman put a pad thingy under me and I went. Yup. Grown ass woman asked to pee the bed 😂 And I’m not even ashamed. 😘
You are so right about the C-section info. I had an “kind of” emergency C-section and I was so freaking nervous and I thought the shakes were from that but now I know it was from the drugs they gave you. I was literally hovering above the operation table I was shaking so freaking bad. I HATED arms being strapped down and not being able to hold my baby — that made me cry and shake even more after. The gas and poop was THE. WORSE, EVER. I took everything known to man and it didn’t help. Then finally a Dr on-call told me about Citrate of Magnesia– THE ANGELS SANG FROM ABOVE!!! That’s the only thing that worked. Totally know about walking around with the pillow in front of you — and for my 1st (had to have another C-section for my 2nd) I didn’t heal for a long time. My friends that had a vaginal birth were up and about WAAAAAAY sooner.
However, would do it again to have my 2 girls (now 13 & 6) 🙂
You Nailed it!!! Also might want to Add that mommas that have to have a Csection it’s no walk in the park either and you will still experience all this hell plus the fact your recovering from your tummy being cut open. Those after birth contractions are the devil and the night sweats are the devils sister!!!! What woman go through!!!
You Nailed it!!! Also might want to Add that mommas that have to have a Csection it’s no walk in the park either and you will still experience all this hell plus the fact your recovering from your tummy being cut open. Those after birth contractions are the devil and the night sweats are the devils sister!!!! What woman go through!!!
Yessss. Breastfeeding!!! Why does no one WARN you that it’s hard? It doesn’t just “happen” magically like all the perfect pictures.
I wanted a natural labor and delivery but my water broke (and meconium) and I was not having contractions or dilated so I was induced. They administered cervadil overnight to try to help dilate me, then pitocin the next morning to bring on the contractions. Pitocin is NO joke! The doctors and nurses don’t fully prepare you for what’s to come once they start increasing the pitocin. Even if they tell you, I still don’t think you could be prepared for it. But I know after a few hours of laboring naturally (meaning no pain meds or epidural) while on pitocin, I couldn’t get an epidural fast enough. The pain was so intense that I was convulsing on the floor while vomiting. I waited way too long to get the epidural. Basically, if you’re on the fence about an epidural but you need pitocin, my advice is get the epidural as soon as they say you can have it!
I got a crazy rash in my toes that moved up my legs. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. The only thing that allowed me to sleep was putting bags of ice on my feet. They were like little blisters and they BURNED so bad. Just caused by hormones and they went away about a week after. But it was horrible. Thankfully I didn’t get it again with my second baby.
My fourth is almost 2.5, but I remember all these things like it was yesterday. #3 and #4 were c-sections and the shoulder pain from the air in the abdomen was the worst…probably even worse than the back labor with my first.
This past December I gave birth to my first baby. Labored for 10 hours before being taken in for an emergency c-section (so fun 🙄) BUT I was surprised when getting the epidural didn’t hurt as much as everyone had told me it would. I was mentally prepared for the worst. I was about 4-5 cm when I requested it be done & it was a breeze !
Only thing you forgot- sex after baby. Having sex the firs time HURT SO BADLY. it was like he was pushing everything back into place. It makes me cringe thinking about it!!!
Ahhh so true!
YESSSS!!! I felt like my husband was stabbing me with a knife in my lady parts =…(
So it might just be me but I ate a TON of ice chips and drank a TON of water during labor and also had an epidural. And post-delivery my epidural had yet to wear off completely so I had this incredible urge to pee but honestly could not go. It was surprisingly brutal and the nurse hands down did not believe that my bladder was full. I eventually politely and then not so politely asked for a catheter and INSTANT relief, oh my god. She was shocked. So, I guess what I’m saying is that a) this exact scenario could happen to you but b) demand they check when you’re saying something doesn’t feel right!
As an add on to the postpartum peeing – I didn’t know that you’re catheterized if you have an epidural. Apparently there is the potential to have complications after this, so the nurses will make you pee within a few hours of delivery to confirm everything is okay…hopefully I’m explaining that correctly.
I had a c-section and I can still relate to most of this! I had my baby 8 weeks ago and have loved following along your journey. It’s been so nice to hear someone else going through the same things!
A few things I’d add for anyone having a C-section:
-shaking on the table from the spinal. It’s alarming but normal and will probably last for hours. Luckily your Dr and nurses know how to handle it and you and baby will just fine.
-nausea during the delivery because of all the meds (they literally had to take my baby off my chest because I was so sick.)
-if your incision is glued you will have to scrub that off after a couple weeks and it’s weird AF.
-you will have gas and it WILL HURT. This too shall pass. 😉
-the pain medication will make you feel out of sorts. PLEASE ask for extra when you get home and do not skip your meds until you’re fully ready!
-you’re first poop still hurts even though you didn’t deliver vaginally. Take the stool softeners!!!
-Charity
Extra HELP when you get home. Not extra pain meds 😂
Yes to all this! I think the biggest shock to me was the first poop after. And I didn’t take any stool softener because I didn’t think I needed to. 😂😬😩
But you better believe with baby #2, I took all the stool softeners. Lol
So many good and hilarious points!!!!
Your period will come back even if you breastfeed! So it’s totally normal! Oh it will be crazy and you will wonder “how am I still alive” totally normal!
Oh I have a few for you 😂😂 The whole “private area” feeling like someone punched you post delivery – bruised/sore sensation! Breasts literally like lawn sprinklers!! Painful letdown during breastfeeding (literally stabbing pain when letdown happens). Crazy nausea during breastfeeding session! And can we talk about the wonderful RN’s at postpartum that (pretty much) without warning come and shove a disposable rubber glove filled with icy water into your awesome mesh underwear to ice your crotch!? – don’t get me wrong, much appreciated and equally unexpected, awkward and embarrassing 😂😂
Yes to all of this!!!
Also, no one tells you that when your water breaks, it keeps coming. Every time someone’s water breaks on tv, in the movies, or even when friends tell you “my water broke”, they all make it sound like it’s just this big fish of water and you’re done. Nope. It keeps coming and coming and coming. I literally felt like every ounce of water from my body was pouring out of my vagina.
“Fish” is supposed to be “gush”. Gush of water. My autocorrect hates me.
First time mom to be (due in July) and I have heard SOME of these things before. But THANK YOU for putting this together and being so REAL. 😳 Why do people not share these things with their family/friends about to go through this???? Sure, make me a “ must have baby stuff list” . But noooo, don’t tell me I’m going to lose my hair, poop on the table, and need major nipple therapy while breast feeding. 😭 lord have mercy.
My labor shakes came complete with puking; as if pregnancy had included enough of that 😝
I was not at all prepared for the post parting cankles, I got home and noticed that my ankles were huge, I have just enough medical knowledge for this to totally panick me but was reassured by the professionals it was totally normal!
The “jelly belly” afterwards…back ache… and your whole body aches after birth because you are using every muscle in your body to push that baby out.
First poop is THE WORST. My sister is a doctor, and she said that even with all of the different medical options for stool softeners, the best thing is still 100% pure prune juice. Drink 1 full liter in the 24 hours post-birth…it works MIRACLES! Now I include a bottle in all of my baby shower gifts. The FTMs look at me all confused and I just tell them that they will thank me in a few months time!!
I wish I read this before I gave birth 3 weeks ago. OMG the stinging while you pee was horrible! I almost passed out on the toilet. I was so afraid to pee because of the pain, I wasn’t drinking anything and it slowed my milk supply and I gave my self a UTI! Motherhood is so much fun…
Stephanie Vainer – Social Media
http://www.theallcanadiangirl.ca
Can we talk about the pressure you feel when it comes time to push! Holllyyyy molyyyy that was the worst
Part for me. I did not expect it to be like that!
Yes to all these! I just had a c section and I would add…
1) after the catheter – having to pee the first time while they measure is basically impossible. It’s like your body completely forgets how. Also, I’m 4 weeks PP and my body still doesnt tell me I need to pee! I had no idea this was a thing. I honestly don’t know how I’m not peeing myself constantly.
2) the crazy itchiness (plus shakes) you get post c section. You want to tear your legs off.
3) the pain of engorged boobs a few days after. Rock hard and knives. And basically bathing in your own milk.
4) severe swelling days after c section from all the extra IV fluids. I had Shrek feet and couldn’t walk. They did go back to normal….
I have a 7 week old and I still don’t feel like I have full control of my booty! The day I got home from the hospital my in laws came over and I could not control my farting and let out the biggest and longest fart I have ever had. It was so embarrassing but hilarious at the same time. Other than that I also didn’t know how swollen my vagina would be. It didn’t even feel like it was apart of my body. It was crazy! Thank you for this post! So great for expectant moms. You are awesome!
Such a great post! Yes to all of this. One thing I had with my second (VBAC) was a horribly bruised tailbone! Apparently this happens a lot, too (says my nurse). And sometimes it can dislocate from pushing, too. It hurts a lot, and I’m still recovering from this nearly four weeks out. With my first, I had a C section, and my milk took forever to come in. The lactation consultant said this is common with c sections and can make it extra stressful in those early days. Last thing, it’s totally normal if you don’t feel instantly bonded with your baby. I didn’t with my first (result of surgery? First kid nerves? Complete anxiety over doing everything right? No idea, but it took a few weeks to feel really close to her). With my second, I did feel the bond right away. And the mom guilt of not feeling that bond is no joke. However, both are normal and ok and not bonding instantly says nothing about how you will be as a parent. Hugs to all the mamas and future mamas out there!!
Nipple issues are a thing! I remember the first time looking down at my giant milk jug boobs and wondering what the heck was happening to my nipples. Tiny “brale like” bumps with a dramatic dark discoloration was my experience. Post nursing the bumps and color do go back to the new normal so no worries, but heads up Mommas….nipple issues are a thing!! 😊
These are all spot on! Them pushing on my stomach right after delivery and for the next day or so was actually really painful. And how many times they check you – front and back – after baby I was not ready for. It was so often that I started asking the nurses if they’d at least buy me dinner first.
I also thought stitches lasted 2-3 weeks (all the nurses told me this) but nope it’s 6-8 and at 4 weeks post baby my peri spray bottle is still my sidekick.
And breastfeeding is worth it but HARD. I saw 4 lactation consultants and they all had conflicting advice. I had to take what they said that rang true for me and also use my mama instinct to get the hang of it all. Also – that it takes up to 30 days for your milk to regulate to supply and demand for your baby. Your milk fluctuates throughout the day – so don’t necessarily think that you don’t have enough milk for your baby. This is true if you pump too – you may only pump a little at first but your baby’s suck is different than the pump suction and gets milk differently – sometimes lots more. All things I wish I knew in advance!
This is all so good.
I ended up having an emergency c after 12+ hours of labor. My water broke and my little was on his cord and his heart rate was decreasing like crazy, so a cesarean it was! I was NOT prepared for the recovery that came with that surgery. I could barely walk for days and couldn’t get in and out of chairs/bed/anything without my husbands help for weeks. And the pain that comes with that surgery, HOLY HELL! I wish I had even the slightest warning of what I was in for, but it’s all amazing, and crazy, and worth it.
Thanks for sharing this info. It’s so so important to talk about the good, bad and ugly!
Diastasis recti to be thanked for the mom pooch despite getting back to prepregnancy weight and verified veins in your crotch during pregnancy! That shit hurt so bad I wore the equivalent of what looked like a women’s jock strap for months to ease the pain 🤣😭😢🤣😢😩😩😩😩
I just wanted to say THANK YOU! I am pregnant with our first- and followed you long before I got pregnant- and loved that you were so open about everything so thank you!! This is what I was looking for!
-christine
http://www.shesjustmysister.com
Changes in your hair and I’m not just talking about increased volume from the hormones. My cousin went from dirty blond to dark brown. She had to have it died after the baby was born until the new color completely grew in. The next baby… same thing but back to dirty blonde. My hair got curlier with each kid and again during pre-menopause. I used to have stick straight hair and envied all the girls with curly locks. Now I abhor humid days and looking like a brillo pad!
I remember the misery of trying to hold my pee while waiting for the water to warm up at the sink to fill my peri-bottle. I just may have peed my pants a little each time. No pelvic floor muscles + full bladder + running water = mamma needs diapers too!
Oh, the phantom kicks!! My youngest is 19yrs. Yep, I still get those every once in a while and phantom letdown when a newborn is crying around me. So far I have resisted the urge to feed those babies myself! (I’m kidding.. I’d never actually do that. That would be creepy. 😉 )
This is such a great post!! I am due in 3 weeks with my first and really appreciate your honestly! I would much rather know what to expect than be surprised at this point! Thank you for keeping it real!
Thank you for this! I am not even married yet, will be in 2 months. I like to know what I’m getting myself into. I love babies, I grew up with multiple siblings with me being the oldest and an age gap in between us, so I have always been pretty motherly. I did not want to go into child-bearing gears naive, so I am thankful for this post! As the time gets closer I will probably come back to this post and make sure I have everything I need as far as depends, boob pads, etc. thanks for keeping it real girl!!! Love your blog.
How about a spinal headache or just a really bad head ache once they take you off fluids. They don’t tell you about it and when you bring up the headache they get you a Mountain Dew 🤨.. drink plenty of water!!!!! Thank you for this post!
I’m a first time Mama to be come this May! I was literally filling my amazon cart while I was reading this. It was super helpful.
I had an allergic reaction to the morphine they gave during the c section. Uncontrollable itchiness all over my body- kept me sleepless the first night and definitely left me with rubbed raw parts of my face for a week. Good times. They gave me lots of benedryl, which somewhat helped.
Yes to everything else! The shakes- I thought it was just me!
Omg huge yes to all of this!! I hated the Fundal massage every morning ugh and I also had to get a shot of a blood thinner in my belly every morning, maybe that was just because of the c-section. One thing I would add is the swelling! Full body swelling (legs and face the worst. And again I had a c section but my vagina (labia specifically lol) swelled up so bad after we got home from the hospital I almost went to the emergency room! They said it was because I was in labor for so long before delivering (36 hours) and all the fluid from the epidural. So yes you bleed and get vaginal swelling even with a c-section! Also the first pee and poo KILL! The pee more so because of the catheter, the poo tho I literally had to Hypnobirth out, not even kidding I used all the labor breathing techniques! Lolol good thing all this fades away eventually and you’re just left with your beautiful children <3
I love this blog!! It’s amazing to me how no one talks about the nitty gritty of childbirth! Love how honest you are and how you ended with says how it’s all worth it. So true! 🙌🏼
This!!! THANK YOU for making a post about this! I’m an expecting first time momma & you literally NEVER hear anyone talk about this stuff! I want to know all these things so I’m not blind sighted 🙈 So, thank you for thi
Yup spot on! With my second I had to pee b4 I was allowed to get up and actually walk because epidural hadn’t worn off so the nurse had to put a pee Pan under me and I made a huge mess!
Ps 🙋🏻 I pooped.
Thank you for this post! Everything you said is so spot on. I’m currently pregnant with baby #2 and am dreading that first BM after delivery. It was so painful for me after my first 😬
One other thing I had no idea about was the insane itching that I had all over my arms and stomach after I got my epidural. Its a reaction to the epidural and I’m not sure how common it is but it was pretty annoying and definitely not something I was aware of.
I’m 3 weeks post partum now and i feel like for the first solid week this time around i was walking like a cowboy because everything was SO SWOLLEN AND SORE. I don’t think it was that bad the first time around but this time, holy crap.
I had no idea my ACTUAL vagina would be swollen. Like, I knew I would be sore but I remember wiping for the first time and be like uhhmmmm excuse me?! What is this?! Luckily I became bff’s with ice packs and all was well in about 24 hours
This post is life changing! While I may not become a mom for another year or two, I definitely feel like I’m somewhat prepared after reading this post. Lauren, you are such an amazing role model for so many people. You just have no idea! Thanks girl!
One other thing to add for C-Section mommy’s. Couching, sneezing or even laughing feels like your gonna pop a stitch for like 3/5 weeks after delivery!
Heck yes to this all 🙌🏻 !!! I just gave birth to my second on 3/10 a healthy baby boy named Austin😉 you hit the nail right on the head to it all! Us mom’s truly are WARRIORS!!!
NAILED IT! There is nothing more to say other then yes. Just yes. Oh and Cheers…because wine. 👌🏻😂🍷😘
Anyone else have to wear the compression things on your legs after to prevent blood clots? They like air up and squeeze then deflate over and over. They are noisy and uncomfortable and so annoying!
No one told me SOMETIMES the epidural doesn’t work! Luckily for me, they eventually got it. But nothing like getting that humongous needle in your back thinking you won’t have anymore pain and then you still feel EVERYTHING.
Also, everyone said to sleep during labor if you get the epidural. But how could you ever sleep more than 5 seconds when they don’t leave you alone?
I haven’t had any children yet but I so appreciate the honesty!!! So many of my new mama friends say they are shocked at how many things people leave out, especially their own moms! The more I know, the more prepared I feel!
I recently had a planned C Section (little babe was breech) almost 3 weeks ago and this is what I learned: 1) the epi/spinal block is frightening as hell! I chalk this up to the fact that I went into the surgery completely pain free. Due to the planned c, I didn’t experience labor, water breaking, mucus plug etc etc. You are literally stone cold sober and completely cognitizant of the entire process. I was told it would feel like novacane being administered at the dentist. Ladies, no, it’s a freaking needle being pushed into your back and yes, you DO feel it and all these weird sensations and pressure zipping thru your body immediately. It was the weirdest sensation I have ever experienced and for a split second you wonder if you are paralyzed. It literally feels as if warm blood is being washed over your legs and then, no feeling. Your mind is telling you to move your feet but those toes aren’t wriggling! 2). There are 1000 dr and nurses in the room and modesty goes out the window. Once you are numb, they literally lift your knees up and spread them wide open to insert a catheter. Again, did I mention the room full of 1000 dr and nurses? Yea, that’s fun. 3) The Shakes!!! Uncontrollable shakes to the point your teeth are chattering and there is nothing you can do. 4) Stool Softener is your bff – take it, take it, take it!!! I didn’t go #2 until 6 days post surgery and thank god for the softener because the ordeal was not as bad as I was thinking it would be. Also, eat healthy after you give birth. I stuck to eggs and melon fruits and cereal for the 3 days I was in the hospital. Bland, yes but your body will thank you! 5) You will feel like you are 85 hrs old moving and walking after surgery and for a good week. Give yourself time to heal and don’t beat yourself up. I had a moment where I had a pity party because I could barely walk but it will improve day by day. I’m a marathoner so it was mentally frustrating that I could barely walk 5 blocks when I used to be able to run 26 miles. Remember, c section is major abdominal surgery! Let your body heal! 6) Breast feeding is a mother f’r and if you can’t do it, don’t beat yourself up! A fed baby is a good baby so if you decide on formula, just know you are doing your best and don’t listen to anyone’s opinion. Your body, your baby! 7) For all the pain, just seeing your baby smile at you is worth it all!
PERFECTLY said!!! And my C-section “babies” are 13 and 6! They couldn’t get the needle in back due to my scoliosis so they tried 3 times! I had a HUGE bruise on my back due to it which added onto the fun…….. NOT
Nobody ever talks about the first time you have sex after childbirth! That is some scary sh*t! First of all, you don’t even feel like it, but your husband gets all excited when you get the green light after your 6 week pp appointment. If you’re breastfeeding everything is SO dry down there! And you don’t want to let him anywhere near your tits because those are for feeding babies now.. not his personal fun bags anymore! Your body is still all squishy, and possibly still bleeding… so it’s really hard to feel sexy because you still don’t feel like yourself yet and your hormones are still adjusting back to normal. I had my 6 week appointment today and I’m just like 😩
I just had my third 11 days ago, so everything is still fresh in my mind. I laughed at a lot of this
because it’s so true! You covered it all very accurately. Holy moly the night sweats! No one told me about that with my first, I was sure something was wrong with me.
No one told me, and for some reason it didn’t occur to me that once your water breaks it doesn’t stop coming!!
The swelling down there!! No one told me that the labia and perineum can swell to the point where you feel like you have testicles! TMI!? Anyway, the swelling was a lot less with my second child and was totally gone within a week, but not so with my first. I felt swollen for so long and my walk was totally a waddle for several weeks.
Great post! Since I just gave birth for the 4th time 10 weeks ago some things are “fresh” in my mind. Getting the catheter put in sucks! It doesn’t matter that you’ve had the epidural I felt it every single time and it was uncomfortable. Sometimes when you get the epidural I know woman say it doesn’t take but this most recent time for me…it took “too much” I was too numb. Thankfully I was able to still push her out in less than 15 minutes! Lastly, the engorgement if you breastfeed. Be prepared you may look like Dolly Parton for a few days but it will go away.
Here is my list of sh*t no one tells ya about having a cesarean….
-You will walk like the Hunchback of Notre Dame for the first day or 2 post csection.
-Laughing, sneezing and coughing will make you want to punch someone (mainly your spouse), it hurts so bad!
-Holding a pillow over your incision when you have to cough, laugh, sneeze, stand up is utter bullsh*t! Like a pillow will stop from feeling like your incision is being torn open again! That’s a cute thought… 🤦🏻♀️🙄
Oh I loved this so much!!! I have three kids as well (9,4,3) and you were spot on with everything!! I really enjoy your writing style, lots of facts with humor and honestly just feels like one of my girlfriends is chatting with me and giving me some honest practical advice 👍
Love this post and all the “fun” truths! I’m due with my third and the thing I’m most scared about is the after labor nursing contractions. I was seriously shocked by these after my first and thought something was terribly wrong no one ever mentioned them and they do only get worse with each baby😬
One of my favorite things a friend told me to do was freeze the witch hazel pads and line your pad with them… it was a game changer! Thanks for you honesty, I love following a long! Congrats on baby Austin
Great post, loved it! I would add the postpartum rash. I forget what it’s called (I didn’t get it but my best friend did, all over her body). Also, mastitis – it’s real bitch and you feel like you are going to die. Lastly, diastasis recti – I didn’t experience it with my 1st but had some with my 2nd, luckily all resolved (I’m 4mo pp). Sometimes it can be really extreme.
So glad you posted this, all of these things need to be shared with 1st time Moms so they really know what they’ve gotten themselves into 😉 lol. But seriously, it’s all so, so worth it!
After I delivered my first born, my epidural was rather strong so I had to lie there for a bit. Well when I got up to shower some hours later…. a melon sized blood clot came on out! Anyone want some jello? Pretty crazy seeing that on the drain! I am in the medical field so I figured it accumulated while I was on my back but boy was it still a little shocking. I got the nurse just to show her. And was told to just mash it up down the drain! Fun stuff! I had 2 more kids, one with no epidural, felt the ring O pain…. and the last one I had an epidural but no blood clot!
YES! Although I think I had a reaction to the epidural because I had the total OPPOSITE problem with pooping (it was waaaaay too easy, if you catch what I’m saying). I couldn’t stop it and actually pooped my pants a few days postpartum! Mastitis is the worst – deal with plugged ducts ASAP! Pitocin contractions are intense. I had to be induced with my daughter when my water broke due to infection. I was doing great with the back labor until I hit 4-5 cm! If you have to get an epidural and you didn’t plan on it, don’t feel bad! And the epidural may not work on you…. or may only work on half your body like it did for me!
Also, don’t be afraid to challenge doctors and nurses. My daughter went to NICU because she aspirated on colostrum. They wanted to treat her like a preemie NICU baby, and I had to constantly remind them that she was only 2 weeks early! And if your baby does have to go to NICU, you can still nurse. My daughter was in NICE for 5 days, and I pumped to get my milk to start flowing and come in – ask for that hospital grade pump! Then you can feed your baby your milk if you want to breastfeed!
This book comes out in April and I cannot wait to read it. The reviews are great and it seems like it’s right along these lines. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35959678
I feel like I was adequately prepared for most of these, but then right after labor I remember them coming at me with an injection of pitocin to help the uterus contract. Just when I thought it was over, oh – more needles.
I nursed one and bottle fed the other, mention how bad it hurts if you are not nursing, they get hard like rocks, can’t touch them, painful until milk dries up.I
Great post! A few things to add. My epidurals always took forever to wear off. So I was stuck in bed waiting for a nurse to bring me a bed pan and my baby. And yes it’s normal in some ladies. My husband is an anesthesiologist. Yes he wanted me to have an epidural. He says, “child birth is hard enough on your body, why be in pain too. “I love that man of mine. Next, the engorged breasts are like alien invasion. Getting a baby to latch on is so hard. Poor little things would have to detach their jaws!!!! So that being said, latching on to a nipple hurts like hell. It’s work Ladies! But once you learn how to “ride the bike” it’s so much easier!
I just had my first baby 2 weeks ago and this was all spot on for me! Though I think I had it a little easier since he was only a tiny 4 lbs, my vagina was a (relatively) happy camper! Another thing I had heard of but never really expected was the “ring of fire”. I had an epidural and even though my baby was small, my husband said I gave out a “war cry” during the ring of fire hahah
Witch hazel pads? I’m clearly not a mom yet haha
Yes to all that!
I would add a few things I was PISSED no one warned me about:
If you end up having a Csection (especially after you’ve labored for MANY hours) it hurts like F$&@ afterward! Sitting up is literally the freaking worst! Prepare for this JUST IN CASE and get a postpartum wrap ahead because it helps so much!
Even if you have a C, sex hurts after. I thought it was going to be fine since I didn’t deliver vaginally but it literally felt like he was sticking a knife in my vag! And it was like that until about 6 months PP.
Petocin induces contractions are the absolute WROST, especially if you’re water has already broken.
If you feel like you’re epidural is wearing off- it is. And you may have to fight someone to get them to fricken listen to you and fix it.
We are freaking warriors!
Wish I had read something like this before I gave birth! I didn’t know any moms, all my friends were single and/or no kids. Talking to older moms is no help in this department because they don’t remember! They’ll say, oh it’s not the bad! HA. I would add that you still look pregnant after delivery and I cried when I saw my battered body in the mirror, it was just really shocking. Of course now I’m very proud of what it did. I agree with everything you said about breastfeeding and I’m so glad I found a support group. I cried and cried to the nurses there!! You have to start nursing like right away, right after baby is born, and pretty much round the clock for weeks afterwards. So just settle in and get used to it. That’s normal! 🙂
Yes to all of this! I almost passed out after pooping the first time! I would also like to add that I had an epidural and every time they turned me to the left to wanted to vomit. Although with the epidural I would pass gas and not even realize I was doing it until I heard it come out. 🤦🏻♀️ Lastly no one tells you that you can be so exhausted from being in labor for 28 hours and pushing for four of them that you can’t even remember anything from your first night in the hospital. I was delirious! Good thing these babies are so worth it!
Well said. I knew I would have bleeding after but was not prepared for how much! When my nurses said “gush” I thought that might happen the first time or two, not every time I moved! The bathroom looked like a massacre had happened each time I went to the bathroom! lol. Also the “jelly belly” and feeling like i had an empty stomach but not “empty.” It was a strange feeling.
Gosh. Mom’s are such freaking badasses. I’m pregnant with my 3rd and finally catching up on some of your posts!
My daughter delivered two months early and her son was in NICU for 9 weeks. He is home and healthy now, thank goodness. Noone in our family had ever experienced this. My daughter was outstanding in caring, nursing, and loving this baby. She spend 12 hours a day at the hospital and at the end moved in 24/7 to care for her son. It was hard but she did it and I am extremely proud of her and her loving, supportive boyfriend. NICU is difficult but babies get remarkable care and parents get wonderful support.